It's Fuck-ing Baking Soda!

Anyone out there wanna post a guest-rant? You too can bitch and moan or ramble on drunkenly and make no sense. Just email it to me, and I'll post it. This is a temporary offer, so act now while supplies last!

Ice Cold Nipples and the Vulnerability Within

I can't believe I'm wearing a t-shirt with holes cut in the nipples. My nips are cold. This WAS a perfectly good Hanes v-neck t-shirt until about an hour ago. Janna felt the need to cut holes so that my nipples show. It's possible that I let her do this because the shirt was cheap, I have more, and I was huggin' the Fat Bastard again tonight. I could cut ice with these things, it's so cold in here. Farmer Fran towards the end of "Waterboy." Yeah, now you can't get that image outta yr head, can you? Then again, maybe I just don't care. I'll post a picture later. Then again, maybe not. Comcast is comin' to take their filthy modem and digital cable box tomorrow. Bastards. Comcast, Clear Channel, and Rupert Murdoch are all conspiring to take over the earth's media to further the goals of the devil. Beezlebubba is takin' over. From this point forward, Clear Channel will control all concerts and radio, Comcast will control all cable TV and internet, and Fox will handle all news. It's the new new media for a new new world.

Flank Steak

How much would my head be worth if it was meat?

The Matrix vs. the Honda Passport

Cell phone batteries on the bathroom floor. Mr. Show seasons one and two are back in the house and all is right with the world. Liza's face was warm. Our in-house IT tech Lex Luthor is workin' on the network. I ate Lex's cigarettes. I like nicotine. Tonight was Amy's birthday (and Taryn's 21st). Lots of pictures. I'm that guy. I go now. Mr. Show. Jeepers Creepers SemiStar.

We Are the Real Beast

There is a small collective of bands in Houston, TX that I have to tell you about. I'm not real sure how they refer to themselves as a whole, but I know they're all on Girlgang Records. The bands, NTX, Swarm of Angels, NTX+Electric, NTX/Erika Thrasher, Nikki Texas, A Pink Cloud, and the Wiggins all have something in common: warm, fuzzy noise. Grinding guitars and static bass and clashing sine waves and sex and death and beasts and Texas. I wish I could post an MP3 so you all could hear this. It's just so good. I don't want to compare them to anything (because I don't think I could), and I think I would ruin it for you anyway. You just have to hear for yourself. Go here for some Quicktime MP3s. It's very simple, go to the site, listen to the music, shoot 'em an email or send 'em a check, just get some. Evil has glamour and sex appeal, you can hear it - it's right in front of you. Why are you waiting? Do it now!

Oligopoly, Monopoly, Whatever

I have seen the devil, and it is Comcast.

She Came in Through the Bathroom Window

On this day, 35 years ago, the Beatles performed their last live show together, and pop music was never the same. It was an impromptu public rehearsal during the "Let It Be" sessions set on the rooftop of Apple Records in London. The show itself was only about a half hour long, but I have it. If anyone wants a burned copy, let me know. It was never released in the US, but it is out there.

Talk Dammit!

Want to discuss any of this with me? Here's my email: stranded76@yahoo.com. Let's talk.

School is Crap, I've Had It!

Anyone remember Weezer's second album, "Pinkerton?" It was like their "Paul's Boutique." Everyone hated "Paul's Boutique" at first because the Beastie Boys' first album had all kinds of Led Zeppelin samples, and Kerry King from Slayer played on it, and this one was way different. It wasn't a typical hip-hop record. But then, "Paul's Boutique" came out and it was a real hip-hop record. The samples weren't heavy metal, they were soul and funk. It was probably the best record they ever made, but everyone hated it at first. I remember in high school, my friend Seth went out on lunch to buy it, and within listening to it for five minutes in his car, he threw it out the window and said it was crap. Yeah, two days later, he went back and re-bought it. It took time to grow and build a huge underground following. Weezer's "Pinkerton" suffered the same fate. Their first album, the first self-titled one (the 'Blue album') was so perfectly pop. It was well-produced and clean, the lyrics were vague or general. "Pinkerton" was a different story altogether: the lyrics were painfully personal, the production wasn't necessarily dirty, it was just different. The music itself didn't sound perfect, it sounded more real and honest. This is why it's the best album Weezer's made. Please, go find this record and listen to it at least three times in a row. I beg you.

END RANT

I'm Surprised This Didn't Take Place in Florida...

This is just messed up, I"m not going to comment, because I don't know how I feel about it:

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/01/30/1075340823076.html

Bush Sucks

I'm sure many of you have already seen this, but I'm posting it anyway. It comes from MoveOn.Org.

During this year's Super Bowl, you'll see ads sponsored by beer companies, tobacco companies, and the Bush White House. But you won't see the winning ad in MoveOn.org Voter Fund's Bush in 30 Seconds ad contest. CBS refuses to air it. This is not a partisan issue. It's critical that our media institutions be fair and open to all speakers. CBS is setting a dangerous precedent, and unless we speak up, the pattern may continue. Watch the ad and join the call for CBS to air ads which address issues of public importance today.

Where's Lydia Lunch? (Human Eye show review)

Welcome to New York City 1978. Wait, no, this is Detroit, isn't it? Where's Glenn Branca and Arto Lindsay? It's 2004. What the fuck is going on? Human Eye. Art damage. Punk rock.

Tonight was the first show for Human Eye, whose most notable member is Tim Vulgar (formerly a Clone Defect). Free show at the Garden Bowl. Why weren't you there? I told you about it. About a hundred other people knew about it. They were there, jerking in rhythm. Yes, jerking, ain't no one swayin' to this noise.

In a very DIY move, the band was selling cassette tapes of their demo. Two bucks. The tape sleeves are simple white paper, and each one is unique. Classic Tim Vulgar. This band is definitely a group effort, though. Not that the Clone Defects weren't a group thing. It just always seemed like Tim was the focus. It's hard not to look at him. He has an engaging stage presence. Either way, check this out. The next time I post a concert listing for Human Eye, go to the show. Trust me. If you liked the Clone Defects, if you like Teenage Jesus & the Jerks, Mars, DNA, recent stuff like the Piranhas and Lost Sounds, or any art-damage punk rock in general, you'll dig this. More good reference points would be the Urinals and the Weirdos. In fact, with the benefit of sobriety, I think the LA blank-wave scene of the early '80s is the best reference point. Oh, and Human Eye covered a Urinals song.

Sniffing Glue

So, that post earlier today about the Murder City Devils/Kenneth Anger connection was originally intended to be an essay on punk in the '90s, but obviously, something else was on my mind.

First off, go get the Exploding Hearts. Do whatever you can do to find this record. I don't care if you have to download it, just find it. Especially if you like the Buzzcocks or the Boys or the poppier stuff from the Ramones, you'll love this rekkid.

I read a short journal posting from an acquaintance earlier in the week and it got me thinking. She was talking about how she recently re-discovered the album "Clumsy" from Samiam.

If you're around my age, 28, and you were ever into punk-rock, there's a good chance that you know what I mean when I say '90s punk, or "New Punk." Think of labels like Epitaph, Fat Wreck Chords, and Hopeless. Bands from these labels quickly bring to mind shouted lyrics, protruded neck muscles, forehead veins poppin', air guitars all around. This stuff was a very important part of my life for a long time. (Maybe my difficulties with women come from me ignoring them and paying attention to punk rock instead? Eh, that'd be good for a later post - after I've hugged the Fat Bastard)

Now, don't get me wrong, I was introduced to '80s punk at the tender age of 12, and I fucking loved it. Couldn't get enough. I would sit in my room for hours listening to the Descendents, and Social Distortion, and Black Flag. Was I miserable because I listened to pop music, or did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Neither! I had punk rock. I was happy. Back then, I had an idea that the '80s stuff wasn't even the beginning. I knew Black Flag wasn't the beginning or the end, but I did know that Dez Cadena was the best singer they ever had.

Then, Nirvana happened. Unfortunately, I'm not talking about spiritual bliss, I'm talking about 1991's biggest contribution to society: the word 'alternative' became a marketing tool. In 1991, Sonic Youth made a short film titled "1990: The Year Punk Broke." I really didn't get it back then. By 1991, I had discovered '70s punk like Crass, the Clash, Stiff Little Fingers, and the Dead Boys, and as far as they were concerned, punk was stillborn. Dead on arrival. I still didn't get it. Why would Crass sing "punk is dead" in 1977 if bands like NOFX and Screeching Weasel were punk and they just started making records in the early '90s? It didn't make sense to me.

I spent most of the '90s in junior high and high schoool. Even then, I was a record dork. I would read everything I could find about music - and punk rock. Every time a reviewer referred to another band in a record review, I would go out and find that band and buy a record. That was how I started figuring out how everything fit together, and why the Clash and NOFX could both be called punk bands. But the lines were still a bit blurry. Even today they are, but I know much more of the story.

For one thing, I read even more than record reviews. I read books like "England's Dreaming" from Jon Savage, which is all about punk and England in the late '70s. Of course, the perfect companion to that was Johnny Rotten's (aka Lydon) biography, "No Blacks, No Irish, No Dogs." Early in college, in the late '90s, I became interested in the connections between artistic movements and radical politics, like the Surrealists and the Communist Party, for an example. A great book on this topic is Greil Marcus' "Lipstick Traces: A Secret History of the 20th Century." Honestly, the main reason I picked up this book was because when I was in high school, I always read the political articles in Rolling Stone, and Marcus wrote many of those articles. I respected him as an author, and here he was writing about something that interested me even more than politics, so why not? His book has everything to do with punk rock, yet nothing at all. The real goal of the book is to show how the Sex Pistols' manager Malcolm McLaren viewed his creation of the band as a 'Situationist' joke. Unfortunately, the Situationist artistic movement had been dead for years by the time Sid Vicious walked into McLaren's "SEX" shop in London. The book actually pities McLaren for his pathetic attempt at art. Lastly, you absolutely must pick up "Please Kill Me" by Legs McNeil. Legs McNeil was involved in the original underground newspaper "Punk," which existed mainly in the early to mid '70s in New York City.

This movement I'm discussing owes it's name to the newspaper "Punk." No question about it. At the time, punk was a slang term for a gay man, or a junky. "Please Kill Me" is an oral history of punk. No, it's not a book on tape. It's a collection of quotes, some are pages long, some are as brief as one sentence. The book moves chronologically from the Doors to the Velvet Undergroud to the MC5 and David Bowie, right up to the Sex Pistols and the early '80s CBGB's scene with bands like Blondie and the Talking Heads. The bulk of the book centers around CBGB's, Max's Kansas City, and the rest of the New York City scene from 1970 through the mid '80s. This book is probably the one you need if yr lookin' to buy only one. It's also the easiest read, considering the others get fairly academic at times.

So, did any of these books help me figure out why "punk is dead?" No, not at all. It's taken years for me to begin to grasp what it means. In the past six years, I've heard so much music. All different kinds and styles. From the craziest avant-electro weirdness to the darkest, roughest, painful pits of hell vomited out guitar amps, I've heard it. I'm at a point now, where I don't have to think to myself "would this be considered punk?" It's not that it really matters if it is punk, what matters is that I'm fascinated by the way people choose to categorize music.

Now, it's 2004, I have a good sixteen years of this shit under my skin. When I was a teenager, I was so worried that I'd get old and forget about punk. There ain't a chance, because punk has nothing to do with your sound, or the way you dress, talk, eat, fuck, or play guitar. It has nothing to do with piercings that stretch your earlobes down to your shoulders. Multi-colored tattoos up and down the forearms also do not make a punk. The "punk-rock uniform" of piercings, tattoos, wallet chains, dyed hair, and baggy shorts is a total misnomer. That idea can only exist because of the excessive marketing that music suffers from. Ideally, there would be no uniformity or conformity within punk rock, because it's all about saying what you want to say and being who you want to be.

Dare I say it? Is it possible that being punk is related to enjoying the urban tribe culture (discussed a few posts down)? Is it possible that choosing to live your life your way is what punk is all about?


FOOTNOTE: I also highly recommend that you check out the film "24 Hour Party People," which gives a good version of the story of Joy Division. That isn't the focus of the story, though, the main theme is the history of Factory Records, but their stories are inextricably intertwined. You can't tell one without the other. Also, if you can find it (good luck), check out "Decline of Western Civilization," a documentary about punk in LA in the early '80s. And, of course, you must see "Suburbia," featuring members of the Vandals and Fear. Then there's also "Velvet Goldmine," which is a fictionalized account of Iggy Pop and David Bowie's 'relationship'. Most of it's BS, but it's entertaining. There's also "The Filth and the Fury," an excellent Sex Pistols documentary which utilizes all available footage. Of course, there's also "Sid and Nancy," the fairytale of Sid Vicious (of the Sex Pistols) and his wife Nancy. Unfortunately, Courtney Love is in this film. Ironically, she was probably Kurt Cobain's Nancy. And...there are a million more, I can't think of them all right now. I'm drunk. Too many fat glasses of the Fat Bastard.

Argh.

Seriously, does anyone know of any job openings? Scroll way down to related post titled "If There is Something" to see my skills and such. Remember the movie "Joe Vs. the Volcano?" Joe had to quit working at the office because the fluorescent lights were making him sick. For me, it's the combination of the lights and my computer screen that melt together and remind me of how much I hate working in an office. Sometimes, it pushes me to the verge of having a panic attack. I get all hot, and I have to go outside for a minute to regroup. In fact, I don't think it's working in an office that I hate so much, it's getting paid so little for my education and skillset. Maybe I should just start selling stuff on eBay.

I Like Food, Food Tastes Good, I Like Food, Food Tastes Good!

(This comes from the Hot Plate Detroit website. Check out the show and the site - they have rock bands and good food)

The Hot Plate Manifesto
You've made a wise choice. You may not yet realize the magnitude of the project but we hope you can sense the propensity.

Of course, word is out. All over town and perhaps the world by now. If not, then certainly soon. You see, it is all a matter of time.

Have you ever felt like changing the world? Stick with me now. What we mean to say is, "Are you ready for what may be termed radicalism?" This kind of gig might not be suitable for the weak hearted.

Television. Oh sure, there are those who deny its very existence. Many will boast of being TV free, as if it some lecherous beast on the prowl, and they are the righteous. Ahh, but we know the truth. That damn magic box is our friend. The good old reliable Uncle Dirty of our present medium, the Internet.

Let us into your homes. We are going to have a party. We will take you to Ground Zero, and leave for you there for 30 minutes at a time. You might learn something.

But please, before you get too excited, let us be clear. This show is not about The Kahn or El Terrible. It's about the guests. We don't believe in the oxymoron called reality TV. So go ahead and put those preconceived notions back in your shirt pocket. What we expect is for you to get the message. HOT PLATE is entirely devoted to food and music. Watch and see what unfolds when these elements unite. Then you will see the truth. We could tell you more about the show, but that sort of kills the surprise. The revolution of our age is exploding by and drawing us away from ourselves. HOT PLATE is a reminder. At this point, all you see is a seedling, but the root structure is getting stronger day by day. Watch it grow.

Eat well. Tune in for updates.

I Woulda Slit My Wrists if it Wasn't for RocknRoll

So, this morning, I was driving to Discount Tire in Livonia. I was listening to "In Name and Blood" from Murder City Devils (which I've listened to damn near every day since I got it a month ago). I noticed that the song "Lemuria Rising" mentions Kenneth Anger.
For those not familiar, Kenneth Anger was a child-actor in the 1930s. He was also a film-maker, the most well-known films being "Lucifer Rising," "Invocation of My Demon Brother," and "Fireworks." However, his most well known work would be his writing. Kenneth Anger wrote Hollywood Babylon, and Hollywood Babylon II. Both books chronicled the seamy side of Hollywood including addictions, sexual escapades, rape, and murder in one case (Fatty Arbuckle's murder of a young girl)(ED note: Arbuckle was accused of killing the girl, she actually died of syphillis. thanks, Eli). Some of the more extreme stories such as Lilian Gish sleeping with an entire football team have been proven false, but most of the stories of sexual escapades and addiction appeared in the press long before the book was published.
Anger's films and books have many subtle homosexual themes. The books portray gigolos like Errol Flynn as heroes, and then turn around and portray innocent young women thrust into difficult situations as whores. Most of the films feature light homo-eroticism, blood, men, car worship, the occult, Satanic imagery, and rock n roll. With the exception of car worship, most of these same qualities come up in MCD lyrics.
So, I started thinking, a lot of the songs from MCD feature men being celebrated for their masculinity, i.e. drunken sailors, cowboys, that sort of thing. And, the album "In Name and Blood" has several songs that reference Anger's work. "Idle Hands" and the idea of idle hands doing the devil's work runs through many of Anger's films. "Demon Brother" has no direct references from the film "Invocation of My Demon Brother," but hey, the title's close enough. "Lemuria Rising" shares half a title with two Anger films: "Lucifer Rising" and "Scorpio Rising." This is the song noted above where Kenneth Anger is actually mentioned several times in the lyrics. I don't recall ever seeing any reviews of the album that noted these connections. Interesting.
Maybe it's just my imagination, but I think there's a chance that Spencer Moody (singer from MCD) might be a Kenneth Anger fan.

The Media Carta (courtesy of AdBusters)

(from AdBusters)

We, the undersigned, are troubled by the way information flows and the way meaning is produced in our society.

WE HAVE LOST CONFIDENCE in what we are seeing, hearing and reading: too much infotainment and not enough news; too many outlets telling the same stories; too much commercialism and too much hype. Every day, this commercial information system distorts our view of the world.

WE HAVE LOST FAITH in the institutions of the mass media. A handful of corporations now control more than half the information networks around the world. At a time when people worldwide face hunger, social disruption, war and ecological collapse, only those who know how to walk the walk, talk the talk or pay big bucks are getting their message across.

WE HAVE LOST HOPE that our national media regulators will act in the public interest. Essential rules limiting media ownership and concentration are being scrapped, while rules protecting local content and access are diluted.

WE HAVE LOST PATIENCE waiting for reform.

WE IMAGINE A DIFFERENT SYSTEM – a media democracy. We see great promise in the open communications of the internet and want that openness expanded into every form of media. We envision a global system of communications that has as its foundation the direct, democratic participation of citizens. To this end, we demand the timely transfer of key media sources back to the people.

As a start, we demand the right to buy radio and television airtime under the same rules and conditions as advertising agencies. We ask our media regulators to set aside two minutes of every broadcast hour for citizen-produced messages. We want the six largest media corporations in the world broken up into smaller units.

What we ultimately seek is a new human right for our information age, one that empowers freedom of speech with the right to access the media. This new human right is: The Right to Communicate.

WE HEREBY LAUNCH A MOVEMENT to enshrine The Right to Communicate in the constitutions of all free nations, and in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

To sign the Media Carta and read more about democracy in media, go here or here.

(if you want to read more on this topic elsewhere, check out The Media Monopoly from Ben Bagdikian, it's a classic on the topic. Also check out The Medium is the Massage from Marshall Mcluhan. The man's a mad genius, and yes, that's 'Massage' not 'Message' - it's often referenced improperly.)

Bizarro! I Love You!

Go to the Garden Bowl tonight. Nick is DJing. The Pin Ups League is in it's 348th season. Janna bartends. Good times can be had by all. Just do it. You all do what I tell you, right?

Every Party Has a Winner and a Loser

Does anyone out there know of a good email provider that actually allows you to retract unread email? You know what I mean, like if you're drunk-emailing (similar to drunk-dialing or drunk ebay-ing), and you later realize that you really didn't want to send what you sent. Or, maybe you aren't drinking, you just aren't thinking first (like I did tonight). Most of the time, I'm calculating, but not enough.

I just sent an email that I know I can't retract, and I think it will make me the loser in this party.

These Idle Hands, They Do the Devil's Work

On a lighter note, go out and beg, borrow, steal to get everything you possibly can from the Murder City Devils. Do it now! Also good is Dead Low Tide's self-titled album. It's their one-and-only because they broke up before the record came out. The band is the singer, one of the guitarists, and the drummer from MCD, plus an 8-string bass player. Check it out.

I'll Keep You Warm in Hell

This may turn into a long rant. If you're looking for concert listings, something political, funny, or music-related, you might want to skip this one - it's going beyond those things.

I know I've talked about this before, but I want to go a little deeper into the Friendster/MySpace/friend phenomenon. First, I think that the popularity of the sites fits in nicely with the theory of urban tribes. Rather than settle down into traditional families, we and our friends have formed an Urban Tribe -- an intricate community of young people who live and work together in various combinations, form regular rituals, and provide the support of an extended family.

Friend sites provide us with an opportunity to expand that family. Or do they? It seems that too many people view the sites as an opportunity to be the popular kid from high school all over again. If someone I don't know messages me and wants to be my friend and they have hundreds of friends whom I don't know, I'm denying access. I hated the popular kids in high school, and I still hate them now. Of course, now when they run into me, they act like we've always been close. What is that? I think I know. They always seem happy to see me, because they realize that I got out when I could. I'm single, I've never been married, and I don't have any kids. Half the people I graduated with are married/divorced/parents, and they feel like they've 'wasted' their lives. Of course, this is bullshit, life is what you make of it. So, back to the point, I'm all about meeting new people on the friend sites, but only if we have mutual friends or interests. I lost interest in baseball card collecting when I was 9, why would I want to collect and trade 'friends' like that?

These sites have also forced us to redefine and re-examine our friendships. How many of us truly know what it means to be a friend? It's easy to say that you do know, but do you really? The word 'friend' is about as vague as the word 'love' to me. Plus, friends come and go. Which ones do we keep, and why? To what extent are we willing to keep contact with friends who have moved away, or are in situations that keep them from being around?

There are only five friends from high school whom I speak to on a regular or semi-regular basis. I can't say they're the only ones worth keeping contact with, but I can only spread myself so thin before I break. I've kept these friends because they are worth my time. They make compromises in their lives to keep contact with me, and I do the same. These are friends who have come and gone, but we always find each other again. We can't stay away from each other - that's why we're friends.

Another prevalent issue for people around my age (21-35) is new versus old friends. Would you leave yourself open like a book to just anyone? No, you wouldn't. You're open with your friends, regardless of when you met them, or how long you've known them. Keeping friends is work. You need to keep a balance. Compromises must be made if you truly care about someone.

That sums up my rant for the day. Friends are people who care about each other and make compromises for each other. It can be more, but it should never be less.

ADDENDUM:
For the most part, friends should also be able to accept who you are, even if you've changed over the years. If they can't accept it, why are you friends with them? This ties up a loose end concerning the old friends versus new friends argument. If your old friends don't like what you've become, then fuck 'em. You don't need them. People don't change, they evolve. If your friends are in the here and now, and are there for you, they're all you need.


(For anyone out there wondering, this isn't entirely about me, only partially)


END RANT

Clavicles

It's amazing what people will say in public (or on the web) for all to see when they've been drinking. Seriously, though, I highly recommend Fat Bastard Shiraz. It's a good cheap red wine. It's usually about $9 for a bottle. You should never pay more than $10 for a bottle of Shiraz. I don't care if it's top-of-its-class from Australia and from 2000, it still shouldn't cost more than $10.

I have seen it, it is real!

I woke up in someone else's arms. I was dreaming, I was dreaming of you! Oh, wait, I'm drunk. I was wondering where that came from. Get ready for some aimless meandering, folks. Or maybe not. I don't know, I'm not really feelin' it right now. Someone told me today that they were disappointed that I only had one post from today, but I thought I had more. Good question, I'm not gonna check, because I really don't care. Then again, it's almost tomorrow, then it won't matter anymore, will it? Who really IS reading this shit? I know Andy and Eli are checkin' it out. Apparently, Mike is, too. Anyone else? Does it really matter what I parade in front of all of you? Writing things down is therapeutic, but do I risk the run of offending people (!) ? Or will prosecutors be trespassed? I really don't know. END DRUNKEN RANT. All hail Fat Bastard Shiraz!

SPANK! Mob takes over Detroit

(I have nothing to do with this, by the way, I saw it posted elsewhere, and thought it sounded like fun.)

Detroit Synergy's first SPANK event!

First SPANK! Event
SPANK! is a new campaign of large, spontaneous gatherings throughout Detroit to create fun and whimsy while raising awareness of urban issues.

Join us on Wednesday, January 28th for Detroit's first flash mob! Bring your friends after work to one of the following meeting points. Mobsters will start gathering at around 4:30 PM. Dress warm, enjoy a drink, and join the mob departing at 5:15 PM SHARP for a brief public display of our love for this city.

MEETING POINTS:
1515 BROADWAY, 1515 Broadway
BAT LOUNGE, 1326 Brush
CAFE de TROIT, 1260 Library
CENTRE STREET PUB, 311 E. Grand River
DETROIT BEER CO., 1529 Broadway
ELWOOD BAR & GRILL, 1745 Brush
SMALL PLATES, 1521 Broadway
THE WELL, 1228 Randolph

Spread the word...

To subscribe to the list for the latest SPANK! info, send an email to spank-request@lists.detroitsynergy.org with "subscribe" in the subject line.

I'm a Man Who Loves His Taffy. Mmmm...taffy.

On Sunday night I was having a hard time falling asleep. Soon it turned into full-blown insomnia. I watched an episode of Mr. Show until I started to fall asleep. Turn off the TV, roll over, can't sleep. I tried reading until my eyes were tired again, put the book down, roll over, can't sleep. Then, I got up, lifted weights until my arms hurt so bad I couldn't lift anything. STILL couldn't sleep. So, I finally gave in and just laid there. I let my thoughts take over. That's why I couldn't sleep in the first place. Sidenote: generally, I take in everything. I have an occasionally photographic memory. Unfortunately, I can't always remember everything right away. Some things just pop into my head a month later. It seems like my brain was backlogged and chose to spit all of these memories up front that night. Something made me decide to call an old friend. So, I called her on Monday, and I can't believe how good it feels to talk to someone whose voice takes you back to a different time in your life. If you're reading this, Lynn, I'm glad I called you. (Oh, and I still couldn't sleep that night - too many other thoughts kicking me from behind the eyeballs)

If There Is Something

I need a job. I truly hate where I'm at right now. Please, does anyone out there know of any good openings? I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Communications from Wayne State. I currently have a little over a year of experience as an office manager. Broadcasting, advertising, post-production, shipping, account management, these are all industries/areas I'm very familiar with from my current position. I'd also prefer to stay in the Detroit area. Multi-tasking, attention to detail and deadlines, and organization are also skills I am all too familiar with. And, hey, I'm computer-literate! Employ me, dammit!

Vibe On!

I ruv you! I ruv you! I ruv you!

Engrish is funny. Go and find the song "Girlfriend" from Thee Michelle Gun Elephant. This song is so f&^king good. I just wish they said "I love you" in the chorus instead of "I ruv you." In fact, go and find everything you can from TMGE. The easiest would be their most recent record, "Rodeo Tandem Beat Specter," or "Collection," which is obviously a collection. I can't easily explain their sound. They call it Maximum Rockin' Blues, which is a good Who reference, because they're definitely similar to "Who's Next" era Who with the power of their sound. It's mostly hard-rock type stuff. Very bluesy at times. In fact, as far as Japanese rock n roll is concerned, imagine the rockin' sound of Guitar Wolf crossed with the blues of the King Brothers crossed with the punk attitude of Teengenerate. Oh, and it's well-recorded, unlike most of the Japanese punk rock 'n' roll stuff. I'd link to their official site, but it's in Japanese and most people don't keep that character set on their computers. This is a link to their US label's band page.

She's got her TV eye on me...

This Thursday, the 29th, Human Eye will be playing a free show at the Garden Bowl in Detroit. The bands usually play around 11 or 12. Free show. 18+ only, and in case you didn't know, Human Eye is Tim Vulgar's (formerly of Clone Defects) new band. Expect broken keyboards and drunken debauchery.

Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some sau-sages?

Originally posted on MySpace...

Does this thing really work (journal entries on MySpace)? Does anyone actually read others' journal postings? I know LiveJournal is popular, but do people actually read that? It's so exciting to go on MySpace/Friendster and create these profiles that can be completely false, or painfully honest. We LIKE collecting comments and compliments from our friends; we LIKE collecting 'friends' who are really just collecting us; we like talking about ourselves like I am right now, and making our profiles reflect how funny/real/stupid/dramatic/angst-ridden/pretentious we are; we like to make ourselves feel better by sharing who we are. Is that it? Is that what this is all about? I know some people just use these sites as ways to push their bands or their websites or their DJing gigs (guilty as charged), but are the rest of us really on here because we have a hard time meeting people? Or, is it possible that the rest of us are all on here because we're tired of just meeting people at the bar? I know I'm tired of it. Work in a popular bar for a few years, watching drunken morons hit on disinterested women, and you'll get jaded real quick. It seems like using these portals to meet people is a bad idea, though. I want to say it’s lazy, but that's not quite right. We put a lot of work into our profiles so that we'll get noticed. I think the bad part is that it makes it too easy to get to know someone purely throw the 1s and 0s of the information age. We need to actually see each other to really know who we are. I could be lying about everything on my profile, but you won't know it unless you talk to me face-to-face. I think these sites also proliferate social dysfunction. If you find out everything there is to know about someone (or at least all they want to tell you) through email and MySpace and messaging, what is there to talk about in person? I guess my issue has less to do with MySpace and Friendster specifically, and more to do with how easy people find it to use electronic means to get to know each other instead of talking in person (myself included). We are becoming so fucking isolated and scared as a society. Marshall McLuhan is spinning in his grave right now, laughing his ass off!

We don't want the girl we like to know that we're actually only 5'6". We don't want her to see that we are real quiet in person, or that we're jekyll and hyde when drinking. She probably thinks she's overweight (which is usually totally untrue), and doesn't want you to see that. She also probably doesn't want you to think that she's boring (again, also usually not true) and has a hard time opening up to people. And, best of all, she probably doesn't want you to see that she doesn't have the ten tattoos and naughty piercings that she mentions on her profile. And, hell, it's not just the women, it's the men, too. I'm guilty. A friend once told me that a romance can't exist (or be nurtured in my opinion) via messaging and email. She's totally right. This is all purely hypothetical, but it seems like its what's happening. There's my socio-cultural diatribe for the day. End rant.

J

Everyday, McDonald's feeds more people around the world than the population of Spain. That's a lot.

One in four Americans walks into a fast food restaurant everyday. Wanna find out what happens if you eat McDonald's every day for a month? Go here.

I think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine.

The Holbrook House has finally reached full-on dork mode. Our computer room now features two side-by-side laptops sharing a cable connection through a router that is capable of wireless connections. Unfortunately, neither one of us (who own the laptops) have wireless adapter cards yet. But, just wait, it will happen. Of course, this new-and-improved setup (along with the stereo speakers, receiver, and CD player) means that we'll never leave the house. All new connections and virtual private network courtesy of our semi-in-house IT tech, Lex Luthor.

Another day, another handful of dollars

So I'm thinking about getting a new car. Unfortunately, I think (because of the cold-weather strain on my current car) I'm gonna have to get one sooner than expected. I originally was going to wait until Spring, because that's when I finish paying one of my loans, but I think it will probably happen by next month instead. I'm not buying new, that much I know for sure. Should I lease or buy slightly used? I don't want anything American made. Anyone have any suggestions? Email me.

This is how you talk when you learn English from porn...

Yes, I'm a Simpsons dork.

Does anyone out there know a good web resource for learning XML? I have a book for HTML, but I'm finding that it's a little outdated, and too simple for my needs. I already know the basics, but I'm trying to find the more complicated stuff, plus this site is scripted in XML, which I guess is similar to HTML, but not quite the same.

Lots of posts today, I'm finally getting more used to this. I thought it would be so easy, and I'd get into it right away, but then I had to consider that it's possible that people are actually reading this, and I don't know who (as in, I need to watch what I say - wouldn't want to offend or embarrass anyone). I can't get too personal, because that would be rude to anyone involved, and who the hell wants to read that anyway?

Time to get back to the Simpsons. I think it's a new episode.

Hell, yeah, I'm a dirty white boy, now you get me a beer and a woman, I'm goin' through a nic-fit!

Is anyone actually reading this site (besides Eli)? Just curious. It costs money to set this thing up so it has a stat-tracker app, and I'm not quite willing to go that far with it just yet. I was just wondering if these words I type are floatin' around in the matrix un-read. Or, if someone out there is gettin' excited because I told them that MAN is playing at Jon Jon's. Email me (see links).

Oh, and I still hate being a bitch for one of the big 3, just to keep you updated.

Does anyone remember?

Remember Elastica? Their first album's been floatin' round the house a lot lately. Even though they cop almost all of their riffs from the Fall and Wire, they do it well, which makes it so good. Go dig through all yr crap and find that CD. I know you have it somewhere. Go get it out and listen to "The Car Song." You know you like it.

Sunday night in the 313

Have you ever wanted to see a one-man band play at a strip club? Well, tonight you can! MAN, the one-man band will be playing at Jon Jon's in Warren. Doors are at 9pm, 21 and over only (of course, hey, it's a strip-bar, what do you expect?), cover is only $5, which is probably cheaper than their regular cover. MAN is supposed to be playing around 10:30pm. Check it out.

In the City

So, last night I went to the Detroit Brewing Co. downtown. The food (I had cheese tortellini with alfredo) was good, the beer was good, and if we hadn't been seated near the door (and the draft), I think it would've been a good overall experience. I recommend the Belgian Ale. High alcohol content (8.6, I believe), and ya just can't help wanting to support a good local micro-brewery. It's right next door to Small Plates downtown on Randolph. Having two fairly new restaurants that serve alcohol side by side in the downtown area almost makes you feel like you're in a real city, like Chicago or something. I do recommend Small Plates, as well. But, it's best if you're with at least one other person, and you intend on sharing everything. Small Plates features the tapas style of dining, which basically means you order a bunch of 'small plates' and everyone shares.

I don't know what's goin' on in the city tonight. If anyone out there does know, email me (see links).

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

So, I never made it to the Grande Nationals show last night. Whatever. Went to the GB instead. Only redeeming quality to that place last night was DJ Jesus, and the people I was with, of course. Definitely a 3-star night (out of 5).

Tonight, though, is the show of the week. It's Tina's Birthday Swarm at the Magic Stick. The Birthday Bash for the Queen of the Scene, and fellow Capricorn, Miss Incoronata D'Angela (but you can call her Tina). Save your money to buy Tina a Bud Light - CUZ THERE'S NO COVER! There will be many bands, I can't tell you who (because honestly I don't know), but Detroit's finest are always well-represented. Get there early, or you might not get in! 18+, 9PM, and no cover...

Friday Night In the D

Go see the Grande Nationals tonight at the Belmont Bar in Hamtramck. Doors are at 10pm, cover is $5. The Hard Lessons are also playing. Also, tonight at the Magic Stick is Slumber Party with April March opening up the show. Makers fans might remember that Ms. March put out a record with the Makers awhile back. Check it out!

Bang This

Bang Bang played the Garden Bowl tonight (see below). I have to say they're worthy of the buzz around them. Think Avail or Hot Water Music, but not as poppy. These guys are all about hardcore, but not Blood for Blood type hardcore. This is actually entertaining and anthemic. Check 'em out.

I HATE BEING A BITCH FOR ONE OF THE BIG 3

I'm starting to find that there aren't many bad things about Detroit. Home is where you make it, and all that. There is one negative thing that sticks out. You can't get around it, it's bound to happen. At some point in their lives, many Detroiters end up directly or indirectly being a bitch for an automaker.

If the Big 3 claim that they all have come to the conclusion that they must stop the obscenely low incentives, why haven't they done so? No one wants to be first. In the meantime, they aren't making any money, and no one wants to buy an American non-luxury sedan for $25,000. I can get a nice Jetta for that price - with options.

The Experiment begins...

So, I've finally done it. I've created my own blog. Originally, my goal was to have a site up and running by the summertime. That site would feature music and artwork from myself and my friends, as well as Detroit music and art news. I started thinking that if I really want to do it right, I need to learn HTML and JavaScript and all that, so I thought this would be a good start. Here, I can rant about whatever, not worry about who's reading it (because no one probably will), and get a feel for the HTML scripting. So, if you've got a problem with that - deal with it.

Welcome to rocknrollscientist, the blog. Contact: stranded76@yahoo.com