Grandpaboy

So I step outside, and everything's green. This is good. I get in the car, open the moonroof and all the windows. Put in the Replacements CD "Let It Be," turn it up loud. As I drive towards Telegraph to get lunch, I pass the Plum Hollow Country Club and I can smell the fresh cut grass. Damn, I hate mowing the lawn, but it smelled so good today.

But then someone had to go and fuck it all up. I was at Telegraph and 9 Mile getting Subway for lunch. Walking across the parking lot, I was approached by a somewhat well-dressed woman. She said something that totally blindsided me. "Excuse me, sir...could you help me buy something to eat for my little girl?" Okay, this is the thing, I was in Southfield. Fucking Southfield. For those of you who aren't aware, Southfield is a suburb of Detroit. There's a lot of big business with offices in Southfield. Many local, national, and international advertising agencies are located in Southfield. Most of the Detroit area TV and radio stations are there or at least have offices there. When you go to a place like Subway in Southfield at noon on a Thursday afternoon, you stand in line with a bunch of (mostly white) people dressed in business casual. So, as I was saying, the last thing I expected was a panhandler. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "but Jeff, how do you know she was just asking for money?" I'll tell you. After I quickly got over the shock of what she was doing, I told her I could get an extra sandwich from Subway. She said no, that's okay, just give me the money and I'll get it for her myself. Riiiiight. I expect this sort of thing when I'm downtown in Detroit, but not in an affluent suburb. Am I being politically incorrect to say that this shouldn't be going on in a place like Southfield? Probably, but I really don't care. That line makes me uncomfortable anyway. At least she didn't actually have a kid with her as an accomplice. Those ones never want the food either, just the money. Five dollars gets you a rock, and the welfare check that came four days ago is already spent. Am I an asshole?

So after she says she just wants the money, I say "sorry, no" and keep moving, I get my sandwich, and head back to work with the windows down and the music loud, blissfully forgetting about the woman who tried to pull a fast one on me.