Who's On First?

Last night, an interesting conversation came up. Have you ever thought about midwiffery? Yes, I said it: midwhiffery. I'm referring to midwifin'. This is real, there are actually people out there who do this. I guess the spelling could go either way. I think it's more fun if you get the 'h' involved, because then it sounds like something involving whiffle ball. It does, kinda. A midwife is someone who helps a new mother have her baby in the comfort of her own home, or wherever it is that she wants to have the baby. Apparently, even though the practice is very old, it's starting to get common again. It seems that one who midwifes can be considered a 'catcher'. In fact, this is the term used to describe the act of, uh, receiving. So, does this mean that the father is the pitcher? Or is he the outfielder? These questions baffle me. The catcher is the whiffer, in a sense the mother is the batter (because she's throwin' the ball), a home-run is a successful hit, a c-section is a walk, and a foul ball is just too depressing to be discussing in this article. I was just thinking...if two men want to have a baby, do they get a designated hitter to step in? And what about midwives who 'catch' their own babies, would this be autowiffery?


why don't you quit smoking, and see what kind of nonsense comes out of your sleep-deprived mind?