I saw a screaming skull in the bottom of a bottle

...and it said to me "Jeff, what are you doing?"

I had the day off today because of some medical tests that I needed. So, I got done with all that, and I was by a mall, so I decided to go and check out some clothes. Normally, I don't mess with malls. They freak me out. But, some clothing requires you to get up close to inspect it, and see if it's what you really want. I can't find everything I need online or in a thrift store. So, I walked into Marshall Field's, and I went to the men's section. I was looking for ties. Specifically, solid-color ties. I wanted to pick up a black one, a red one, and hopefully a white one. Who knew it would be so difficult? I kept looking, couldn't find what I wanted, and finally a salesperson came over to see if he could help me. Keep in mind that I probably didn't quite look like I belonged in there. I probably looked pale as all hell considering I had just squirted out several vials of blood back at the hospital. This guy came up, and I asked him if he had any solid-color ties. He said, no, but that I should try Lord & Taylor, because they carry Christian Dior, and Christian Dior makes solid-color ties. WTF? I don't need high-fashion, I just want a fucking white tie. Is that so much to ask?!? Then I walked into the Saks Fifth Avenue outlet hoping to find some deals because, hey, it's an outlet store, it's supposed to have deals, right? I guess $60 is good for a Calvin Klein shirt, but not for me. Fashion blows.

maybe I should just start shopping at Shopper's World