1000 Homo DJs

Between college radio, clubs, and the occasional wedding or party, I've been DJing for 10 years. I've learned a few things along the way, especially while at WSGR-FM. My college radio instructor, Mr. John Hill (no relation to the Jon Hill of Detroit), always told us that if people call in to make a request, you never make promises. You tell them you'll see what you can do, then try to go ahead and play the song, make it work. Whether it was intentional or not, it ties in with the classic tenet of customer service: under-promise, and over-deliver. I also learned that you need to have an ebb and flow of music. You can't play sad bastard music for two hours straight, people will change the channel. You also can't play hawdcoor punk for two hours because it's just too much. Of course, I learned all of the little things, like how to cross-fade and not have it sound like crap. I learned how to wire up a mixing console and how to record with a reel-to-reel recorder. I learned how to connect ten different XLR cables so that I could have someone talking on a microphone outside on campus, while I was in the control room having a conversation with the 'reporter'. I had a 4-hour show every Thursday night from 4pm to 8pm for seven of the eight semesters (including spring/summer semesters) I was there. I learned that one can fit a lot of BS into four hours when you don't have the listeners in your face. Then I moved to Detroit. Within six months, I was DJing at the Garden Bowl on Woodward in midtown Detroit. I've been doing it for a little over six and a half years now, and I've learned a few more things. For one, people can be selfish assholes when it comes to music. I'm going to step on the throat of the next person who asks me to "play something good." For one thing, you're telling me that what I'm currently playing isn't 'good' and you're not really telling me anything at all if I don't know you. DJing in a venue with a very mixed crowd has turned into a truly interesting cultural experience for me. In defending my ethics towards diversity in music, I've had people (attempt to) spit on me, I've had drinks thrown at me, and I've had many, many customers tossed out of the bar for their asshole-ness. This brings me to another interesting phenomenon I've witnessed while DJing in a bar: "black music." Now, don't get me wrong, I know what people are saying when they ask me to play "black music," but I absolutely refuse to buy into the stereotype and racism that comes with that statement. I've also learned that most people who choose to use that term usually aren't prepared for my semantic argument regarding their own racism. Some get mad because they think I'm talking down to them (which I probably am), but most just walk away. You have to learn that if you want something in this world, being nice CAN get you far, not always, but most of the time it will with me. Don't get me wrong, there can be people who are nice but annoyed at me, too. These are usually the people who seem to think they're at a high school dance or a wedding reception. NOT EVERY DJ OWNS OR WILL PLAY "BROWN-EYED GIRL." This is a fact of life that you must learn to live with. Also, many DJs like myself, are not simply robots who are there at the club to play all of your favorite Top 40 hits. I haven't listened to Top 40 radio in years, and I'm not about to start. Some DJs actually DJ because they enjoy providing a distinctive atmosphere, believe it or not. If you want Top 40, go back to the suburbs. If you want watered-down boring hip hop or club hits, go to the clubs downtown. The compliments I've received from regulars, out of town/state/country bands and musicians passing through, the owners of the venue, my friends and others far outweigh the complaints. I'm no idiot. Typical human behavior shows that if one is satisfied or happy with a situation, they won't say anything, but if they're unhappy or unsatisfied, they'll speak up. I know this, so if yr at the bar some night, and I've been playing hip-hop for a half hour, and yr unhappy with it, say something, please, but be intelligent with your suggestions. Don't expect me to know what kind of music you like, and don't insult me. That will only make me want to make fun of you on this site. Thank you to the Zainea family and Ginger for keeping me DJing for the past six years.

(I DJ every Saturday night at the Garden Bowl on Woodward in Detroit. Come see my cynical ass play music.)