2.22.2006

Dry Your Eyes, Mate

Brand new from the soon-to-be-released 'grime' (British hip hop in the vein of the Streets or Dizzy Rascal) compilation "Run the Road 2," I have a link to a track that Mike Skinner (of the Streets) made the music on, and Trimbal raps on. The link is here. Let me know what you think. Also, here is a link where you can stream the whole album.


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2.17.2006

Der Hexer*

I never actually said it here, but a few months ago I made a conscious decision to talk less about politics on this site. While there are certainly things that concern me, I feel that I need to focus more on the here and now in my life instead of something happening in Washington, D.C., or Iran, or Israel, or Darfur. These things do worry me, but how can one help fix the world's problems if they can't fix their own?

Even though I made this decision, I still feel the need to comment on a recent issue. Unless you've been under a rock for the past two weeks, you're probably aware of this hullabaloo concerning the political cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed which ran in a Danish national newspaper. If you're aware of that, then you're probably also aware of the global outrage caused by it. People are burning down KFC restaurants in Pakistan for christ's sake!

No, seriously, this is fucked up. We will fight to the death for freedom of speech/press unless it offends someone. That's what it really comes down to here. A Danish editor decided that too much of the media were pussyfooting around the issue of Muslim violence. So he invited political cartoonists to submit artwork with no rules.

In case you aren't aware, portraying the Prophet is forbidden to prevent idolatry. You know how there are people who fanatically have pictures of Christ all over their homes? The point is to avoid that sort of thing from happening within Islam. If you idolize the person, you tend to miss the point of their teachings. So, many Muslims took the cartoons as an insult against their religion. Apparently they're unaware of how much publicly-funded artwork around the world portrays Christ in a negative light.

What gets me is that the Muslims who are burning down Western and Danish businesses and killing people over this are living up to their portrayal in the cartoons. I just don't get why that isn't obvious to people who choose to risk their lives or possible imprisonment burning down Danish embassies.

In Iran, you can no longer buy Danish pastry. Much like the U.S. re-naming French fries when France wouldn't go along with the Afghanistan conflict (or war, whatever), pastry is now referred to as 'The Roses of the Prophet Mohammed'. Seriously.

How often do you read political cartoons? Personally, I read something almost every day, but that's my interest. I know not everyone is like that. But if you're offended, do you burn down buildings and kill people? I guess it just sounds too irrational to me. Undying devotion to your religion is understandable to me - it's a good thing to have faith in something...but this is outta control.

How many Jews flip out over their portrayal in Hollywood and on TV? If the Pope is made fun of in an editorial cartoon in an American newspaper, Catholics don't show up at the newspaper office with Molotov coctails.

I really thought that the politically correct discomfort of the '90s was starting to fade. I guess I was wrong.

*Der Hexer = The Evil Magician



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Welcome 2 Detroit

Last Sunday, Detroit and the hip hop world lost one of the greatest producers in modern music. James Yancey, aka J Dilla aka Jay Dee passed away from a lengthy battle with Lupus. His latest record "Donuts," just came out days before his death, and most of it was recorded from his hospital room in LA.

You're probably wondering 'who is this?' Why have I not heard of him? Even if you haven't heard of him, I guarantee you've heard him. Whether it's on a track from A Tribe Called Quest, or The Roots, or that one Mariah Carey song that has Ol' Dirty Bastard on it, you've most likely heard something where Jay Dee provided the beats.

My first exposure to his work came to me in 1994 when I was on college radio. My early hip hop mentor, fellow college radio cohort Doug Wheeler first played some stuff for me where Jay Dee did the remix or provided the beats. I was hooked right away by the simple snaps of the snares and the seemingly basic yet totally complex drum loops. The man was a genius!

Via the interweb, I started seeing things early this week about Yancey. The OkayPlayer site has some really touching words concerning his legacy. Black Thought of The Roots posted an excellent memorial on the site's message boards, and the main page of the site has plenty to read as well.

As I mentioned in the previous post, ?uestlove of the Roots seems to be an avid writer on the web. Here you can read his moving experience of Yancey's funeral.

For any of you who are wondering what all Jay Dee did that you may know of, here is a list from ?uestlove's MySpace blog detailing the 'songs that built my career', i.e. his favorite Jay Dee tracks.

What makes this so difficult for so many people is that he was only 32. Yeah, when he was 20, he was making beats for A Tribe Called Quest! It wasn't until after that when he started releasing stuff with Slum Village (criminally underrated and overlooked Detroit hip hop act). He left Slum as a full-time member a couple years ago when his illness started getting bad, but he still appeared as a guest on the albums.

RIP Jay Dee

RIP James Yancey


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Magnificent City

I think I've written about my strange attitude towards hip hop, but I'll explain again for anyone who doesn't know.

My feelings toward hip hop are the same as with practically any music...if it feels like a cheap empty thrill, then I want nothing to do with it. This is why I will never, ever, ever play something like 50 Cent while DJing. Yet I will play Jay Z because it feels solid like there's something behind it. Last Saturday, I played Slick Rick's "Treat Her Like a Prostitute," and people flipped right the fuck out. That's a track with power. But I won't play Kriss Kross. Call me crazy, but I can't get behind empty crap like that for the sake of being ironic. And that follows in my own personal listening patterns.

When I'm DJing, the overwhelming percentage of requests are for hip hop and r&b. People don't like my answers concerning r&b: "I have nothing made after 1978...". This isn't entirely true, I do have some Prince, and some later Marvin Gaye, but it's all in an older spirit. Nothing like that R. Kelly BS. When it comes to hip hop, people don't like what I want to play.

Sure, I'll throw in some Biggie and Nas, but...so much of that stuff is played out. When I play NWA, I prefer to go for the booty-bass stuff that reminds me of their earlier (and more electro bass) incarnation: World Class Wreckin' Cru. It's not easy sometimes, but I try to link this classic 'old school' stuff with the modern music it influenced. Because honestly, I want more people to hear this newer shit, and they ain't gonna hear it on JLB (WJLB, a Detroit 'urban' radio station).

So, I might play "Girls, Girls, Girls" from the Jay Z album "The Blueprint" (a modern classic in my ears), and then follow it with Mos Def's recent 'cover' of "The Takeover" (also on the Blueprint) which changes the words. Mos also changed the title to "The Rapeover." This drags things into a socially conscious sound, and from there I can go to something like The Coup. They are yet another criminally under-appreciated hip hop group that I can't play enough of. Like Dead Prez, but not so concerned with makin' money. Then things flow into Public Enemy so easily and from there I can get back to the rock due to PE's abrasive and occasionally guitar-driven sound.

Okay, I was trying to say something when I got started with this, so I should just get to the point before this turns into a self-involved term paper on modern hip hop and why Detroiters are fools for not liking it.

What I was trying to do is tell you about the new Aceyalone/RJD2 album "Magnificent City." I'll admit, up until recently I never heard anything from Aceyalone. I saw the name, wondered how to pronounce it, but dismissed him as another 'fluff' rapper. Don't ask me why, I have no idea, maybe it was because I never heard him discussed in 'intelligent' hip hop circles. Okay, that sounds so elitist, but it's true.

On the other hand, I'm quite familiar with RJD2, having two of his records and being a fan of the label he helped build, Def Jux (pioneer of modern underground hip hop). He's like DJ Shadow for the hip hop fans. I know, I know, Shadow's gig is more or less hip hop, but I mean RJD2's much more accessible and familiar for hip hop fans.

Apparently this collaboration has been in the works and talked about for awhile now, but I knew nothing of it until last week when I read about it somewhere alongside a review of J Dilla's latest (and last) album "Donuts." (I haven't picked up that one yet, but I will. RIP James Yancey, aka J Dilla aka Jay Dee, one of Detroit's most innovative producers ever). Obviously I haven't been paying attention to hip hop very much lately, beyond getting ahold of the latest Atmosphere (also a bangin' record worth checking out).

Too many people find it easy to dismiss 'intelligent' hip hop as too positive or too 'clean', they think it isn't as abrasive as hip hop should be. Maybe that's true some of the time, but definitely not all of the time. One needs to look no further than a Vast Aire, Bluprint, Ghostface Killah, Atmosphere, or Streets record to find something harsh and 'real'. I approached "Magnificent City" with almost no expectations. But I knew the kind of voices RJD2 has worked with, so I knew I wasn't gonna get no fluff.

Acey and RJD2 bring it with the first track. I had no idea. Right from the start, "All For You," brings up percussion straight outta Curtis Mayfield's "Superfly." The atmosphere of the track is a big party jam. I think "Fire" is supposed to be the first single, and it sounds like something you'd be listening to while driving around in the sun in the summertime. I think it's the '70s soul/funk chorus vocals. "Let your mama know she'll feel me like a son..." Then, "Mooore" reminds me of something from the recently departed Anti-Pop Consortium (ever heard Beans? that's his old group). Kind of a slow groove that flows like something off "Atlien" from Outkast. The standout track by far (for me anyway) is "Supahero." It starts off with low-key synth strings, then cuts into a mid-tempo electro-groove: "baby, I'm your star, but you're lookin' for a supahero, Superman don't fly no more cuz he ain't one with the people..." That's hot. And that's just in the first five of fourteen tracks! It's nonstop on this record. Every track hits and hits hard.

I think this may be my favorite record so far of 2006. I know it's early yet, but I'm all over this one.

Incidentally, I recommend you check out OkayPlayer, which is the home of ?uestlove's (drummer from the Roots) record label. He's quite a blogger, too, I might add.


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All Kinds of Stuff (aka don't push the red button!)

In my online travels today I came across something interesting. It seems that Ren & Stimpy creator John Kricfalusi has a blog.

He's posting all kinds of drawings, and it looks like recently it's a lot of caricatures. Check it out. Click the drawering below to see his site.


click for more of John Kricfalusi's blog



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2.14.2006

Rock and Roll Evacuation

I was 'tagged' to do this months ago, but I didn't notice. Just now I was on Technorati looking up who's linked to my blog recently and found that my fellow blogger Alissa tagged me to also fill out this survey as a 'free' post. Check out her blog here.

Here goes:

10 Years Ago: I was 20 years old, living in the Port Huron area still, and going to St. Clair County Community College (SC4). Still living with my mom and sister in Marysville. Still hanging with the punks in Port Huron. I was a communications major in college, working at a small record store (Paradise Records), writing and copy editing the campus paper, DJing at and assistant music directoring the campus radio station, and working briefly at a plastics plant in St. Clair. Actually, I may have been at Applebee's at that point, I'm really not sure. I can't remember, and don't really care to. I spent a lot of time at strip clubs in Canada with my friend Buddy, and a lot of time at regular clubs in Canada with my friends Mike and Lori. Lori and I went to City Club in Detroit pretty often, too. City Club is sort of a goth club, for those who are unaware.

5 Years Ago: I was 25, and had been living in Detroit for three and a half years. College was all done, but I still owed for my last semester, so my graduation date was for 2002, even though I finished in '01. Bastards. At this very point in time five years ago, my grandparents bought me a new car. They bought me a new car because I was working at the Garden Bowl/Majestic and didn't have much income and my previous car had been stolen a month before. I had that 1989 Plymouth Acclaim for maybe three days before I decided it was time for a road trip to Chicago. Janna and I went and visited our friend Marcia who was going to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. That was my first time seeing the galleries there. In the previous year, I had taken a grad-level art history class and then this gallery had about 60% of the work I studied. It was crazy. I didn't expect to ever actually see Brancusi's 'Bird In Space' up close and personal. Same goes for Andy Warhol's metallic paint on black velvet portrait of Joseph Beuys. That was a really good trip. A month later, I started working at AGT Broadcast, where I work now. Same shit, same office, same bosses, except we were bought out and now we're called DG Systems. Plus I'm now an account manager. The pay is still shit.

Yesterday: Didn't sleep at all Sunday night, I was up all night being sick from something I ate. Was still getting sick up until about 10am. Went to work, got bored real quick. Listened to Paul Westerberg's album "Stereo" most of the day. Got a weird craving for Burger King. I haven't eaten there in a year, but I think all of their marketing/advertising from the past year or so is genius. Got a Whopper, remembered why I don't eat there anymore. Got out of work relatively on time, went over to Wes & Rebecca's, then went and picked up Chris, then went to the WAB for half-off food night for dinner. Got the French Dip, it was delicious as always. Then Chris and I met up with Wes at the Magic Stick to see Matt Pond PA. Almost fell asleep, went home after two songs. Went home, tried to go online, couldn't get the wireless router to work for some reason. Too tired to mess with it. Then tried watching a few episodes of Scrubs on DVD. Almost fell asleep halfway through the second episode.

5 Songs I Know All The Words To:

  1. "Blind" - Face to Face
  2. "Dyslexic Heart" - Paul Westerberg
  3. "1963" - New Order
  4. "Bring the Noise" - Public Enemy
  5. "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" - Neutral Milk Hotel

5 Snacks:

  1. Mixed nuts, no peanuts (I have nothing against peanuts, I just don't want them interfering with my enjoyment of pecans, cashews, and almonds.)
  2. Kettle Chips, either 'New York Cheddar and Herb' or 'Beer and Cheddar'
  3. Cheese, in all of it's glory and splendor
  4. dry European salami
  5. Laughing Cow (la vache qui ri!) (I only list this separate because while it is in fact, a cheese product, I don't know how much of it is actually cheese...)

5 Things I'd Do with $100 Million:

  1. Pay off all debt
  2. Take care of family
  3. Invest some in relatively safe short and long term investments
  4. Take a year off, then come back and start my own business pooling the talents of all the creative people I know to create a design collective where everyone gets paid well to do really good and innovative work.
  5. Travel

5 Places I'd Run Away To:

  1. Switzerland/Norway
  2. Northern Michigan
  3. NYC
  4. Montreal
  5. The inner recesses of my soul (oh, wait, I already do that, this is in a future-possible tense, right?)

5 Things I Would Never Wear:

  1. Speedo
  2. bright colors
  3. sandals (they just don't look right on me)
  4. bling (just not me)
  5. white pants

5 Favorite TV Shows:

  1. Arrested Development
  2. Scrubs
  3. Curb Your Enthusiasm
  4. Seinfeld
  5. Mr. Show
  6. Law & Order
  7. Six Feet Under

5 Greatest Joys:

  1. dearhero
  2. music
  3. friends
  4. family
  5. graphic design

5 Favorite Toys:

  1. My iPod
  2. My PowerBook
  3. cellphone
  4. ultra-strong magnets
  5. my digital camera (if it wasn't broken)

5 Favorite Movies:

  1. Lost In Translation
  2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  3. Breakfast At Tiffany's (I don't care what anyone says, I prefer the movie over the book. Truman Capote can suck it. Oh, I guess he would if he were alive...)
  4. High Fidelity
  5. Henry & June
  6. many, many more that won't fit here.

So, aren't you glad I don't normally tell you every little bit of minutiae about my life? Wouldn't that bore the hell outta you?

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I Believe In Symmetry

The experiment continues...the not-drinking any more alcohol experiment, that is. It's really more of a social study, because not drinking has become fairly effortless. I don't have a serious drinking problem, so this makes it much easier. In fact, it's everyone else and their reactions, and the way I'm able to observe drinking life even more closely that makes it so interesting.

In Alcoholics Anonymous and addiction-recovery circles, the phase I'm in right now is referred to as the 'Pink Cloud'. This refers to the good feeling from being sober, the excitement that comes from the clarity and knowing that you're doing the right thing. Apparently, the following phase is the downer - the regret and the need to run back to the bottle. I don't know how long the Pink Cloud is supposed to last, I guess I should look into that.

Last night I went to a show at the Magic Stick. Matt Pond PA was playing. I like the band, I have an EP from them, it's good. When I sat down at the bar with my friends, I was asked if I wanted a drink. I ordered a club soda. Normally, when going there on a weeknight, I would have one to five beers or just as many vodka/sodas. I'd get a good buzz, or maybe even get drunk. But I got there late in the game.

By the time we finished dinner and got to the show, it was 8:30pm. Knowing that I have to work at 9am the next day makes it hard to want to drink too late. If I were drinking. On nights when I would make it out that late and start drinking, I would probably only have one or two drinks. Just enough for a slight buzz. So what's the point? I waste ten bucks or more to get a slight physical high? I'm around good friends, I already have a girlfriend I'm very much in love with (so I don't need to be thinking about meeting women), and therefore don't need a social lubricant. No need for drinks.

I know, it's relaxing, but I didn't need to relax, I was already tired from being up all night the previous night.

So I was sitting there at the bar, waiting for the band to start and I was bored. Completely fucking bored. I was watching the customers walk up to the bartender and flirt back and forth, watching all the hip, trendy, whatever kids hanging out, watching the drinking life. These observations are nothing new to me. I started working at a bar almost ten years ago, and have been fascinated with people's drinking habits and their behavior ever since.

Those observations have kept me away from drunken one night stands. They've kept me away from getting involved in doomed-to-fail relationships. In short, watching people's drinking behavior has put me off from the whole reason I went to the bar so much in the first place. My friend Andy used to say "you know why I go to the bar? There aren't any hot girls walking through my living room." Yet he and I both were reluctant to meet women at bars. It's a total catch-22. (Full disclosure: I did meet my girl in a bar, but I was DJing, that's different - but only slightly)

Oh, also on Saturday, I DJed for the second time in this 'experiment'. I've gone all night DJing completely sober before, but it wasn't a conscious decision, just a feeling. There's something about it being 12:30 at night, the bar is full, everyone's having a good time, and I'm just drunk enough to get really loose with what I'm playing and pulling out all the hits at just the right times. Now, I get more studious about it. My tangents and connections between songs get weirder and more varied. It all makes sense to me, and I know some others pick up on it, but I don't know how entertaining it is to the rest of the masses. I do know this: everyone seems to love hearing Slick Rick. However, they do not all like Ryan Adams or Jens Lekman.

The experiment continues...


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Hit the Switch

For the first time ever, today is not a 'Singles Awareness Day' for me. I'm liking it.


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2.10.2006

Electricityscape

Sometime in the summer of 2001, I was at a friend's house. Okay, a few friends lived there. It was Eddie and Chuck from the Clone Defects (now of the Valentinos). They lived downstairs from Tim Vulgar (former singer of Clone Defects, currently of Human Eye) in a house in Hamtramck, MI.

They were excitedly playing a 45 for me over and over and over again. They couldn't get enough of it. It was the first record from The Strokes.

Months later, the Clone Defects went on tour, and I went with them. By that time, they found out the real backgrounds of their Velvet Underground wannabes. They found out that the singer Julian Casablancas as well as several of the others came from wealthy families. I guess the guys expected that The Strokes were a bunch of Lower East Side street urchins playing their lazy punk rock a la Television. Of course, they also forgot that the Lower East Side isn't the shithole it once was, either. Just like Times Square, it's been rehabbed into something family-friendly.

Either way, the guys in the band claimed to no longer give a shit, because they wanted their rock n roll to really have something behind it. Or at least, they didn't believe that rich kids were capable of writing good pop hooks with feeling. Whatever. While on that trip, I bought the import release of "Is This It?", which wouldn't be released domestically for another two months. I loved it, listened to it incessantly. And I was quite proud that my version of the album had the track "New York City Cops," which was cut from the domestic release because 9/11 happened soon after my trip to NYC and shortly before the American release. It's a really freakin' good song. I understand why it was cut, but you're missin' out if you haven't heard it.

So, the next album came out to little fanfare. I read somewhere that it was more of the same and not as exciting as the first. Little attention was paid by me. But then some friends were going to see the band at the State Theatre. I had no interest in that show, I had interest in one of the friends. So I got ahold of my contact from the State, and got into the show. Thank baby Jesus I didn't pay to get into that crapfest. Seriously, it was like the band were just standing there mimicking, and someone in the sound booth hit 'play' on a DAT machine. So boring, so pointless.

But then the third album came out recently..."First Impressions of Earth." A trusted friend told me it was actually pretty good and different. I was hesitant, but then it showed up in the mail. Some people send me stuff to post reviews in hopes that you'll buy it or at the very least generate some buzz. It was quite convenient, considering I was about to buy the CD.

I'm really impressed. Seriously. I've read some really crappy and some really indifferent reviews of this record. One thing that every reviewer seems to be able to agree on is that this is something different for the band. They aren't just dipping their toes in the cold water, they jumped right the fuck in.

The negative parts of other reviews note that they know Casablancas is capable of writing a solid pop hook, but they don't hear the hooks here. One writer went so far as to say he's listened to it for three hours, and still can't remember any lyrics. I have a hard time believing that. Admittedly, it's a little different. It isn't hooky, but it's well-executed.

In fact, unlike the first two records, the production is very tight. There's no pop sheen, but everything sounds right. I didn't notice on the other two records, but on this one it's noted that all words and music are by Julian Casablancas. That's interesting, because this album could easily be noted as being performed by 'Julian & the Strokes'. There are very few backing vocals, and you can tell it's his show. Overall, it's a solid record with some truly interesting departures from their previous sound. The Velvet Underground meets Television effect is gone. The Strokes have proven that they are a band with staying power.

I highly suggest "First Impressions of Earth."


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Take It Easy (Love Nothing) Pt. 2

I moved to Detroit and everything got crazy. Right away I started working in a popular bar. Drinks were often free if not dirt-cheap, I had plenty of (what seemed like) disposable income, and little responsibility. Many nights, I would punch out at 3am, then sit at the bar with other employees, drinking until four or five or sometimes as late as seven a.m. It was too easy. I had nothing else to do. Or, at least I didn't think so.

About three years went by, I finally finished college, got an office job, and made an attempt at settling down on the partying. It was easy to look at it and realize that most of the time I drank, I got absolutely nothing out of it. Boredom or stress were the typical catalysts. But as easy as it was to look at it like that, it was much more difficult to truly grasp it.

True, I have some crazy stories to go with my drunken exploits. Nothing too out there, I guess. It's not like I have "A Million Little Pieces, the sequel" resting somewhere up in my brain. Actually, I have something much like what James Frey had: other people's stories about drinking and drugs and the fucked up things they've done. I have a lot of these stories, in fact I was witness to many of them. But most aren't depressing in a sense of desperation or hopelessness, the depression comes from realizing this is all these people have. That's not me.

The office job started to whip me into shape in terms of not getting drunk every night, but I was still going out and drinking most nights. Not getting drunk, just a bit of a buzz. Then there's DJing five times a month, random house parties, nights out on the town, that stuff's a lot worse. I still wouldn't get obliterated or anything like that, I have too many control issues to let that happen. But it was useless.

So, here I am, twenty years after the first time I drank alcohol and I've made a decision. I'm not drinking. When I tell people, they ask "is this a permanent thing, or are you just cutting back...?" My intent is for it to have weight, and permanence. I'd like to just cut back, but that isn't how I roll. I'm an all or nothing kinda guy.

A couple weekends ago, I went to Las Vegas because two friends were getting married. I got on the plane three days after I quit drinking. I didn't mean to time it that way, it just happened. A last minute decision that gave me the opportunity to jump in the fire with this. I felt like crap when we got off the plane. Three and a half hours is a long time to be on a small plane sitting next to a guy whose arms are longer than my legs. We got the rental car, got to the hotel, and while Mike was checking in, Janna and I decided to go get a drink.

It was her suggestion, and I decided that I'll have just one. I figured it would be really expensive, and that would make me not want anymore for the next three days. I ordered a shot of Knob Creek (small-batch bourbon) on the rocks. Almost anywhere else, this would cost at least $6 or $7, but it was only $5 at the lounge by the stage at the Golden Nugget. Because I hadn't eaten in hours, I figured that I would get a decent buzz from the one shot on an empty stomach. NOT the case, unfortunately. In fact, about halfway through it, I realized that I didn't want it and saw no point in drinking the rest of the weekend.

That's right, kids: I was in Las Vegas for a wedding and I was there for three days and only had one drink! Believe it, I have witnesses.

So, this experiment is real. Real life. There's nothing temporary about it, I am on the wagon. No, I won't get preachy about it, and if I do, smack me. This ain't about you, it's about me.


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Take It Easy (Love Nothing) Pt. 1

I've begun an experiment of sorts. Okay, it's not an experiment, because that implies that it extends for a temporary space in time. This is not the case. Far from it, in fact.

I am not an alcoholic. That is a vague thing for many people. In the past, there have been times when drinking has interfered with my life, but that's happened to many people without problems. It hasn't been a problem on a consistent basis.

My first drink happened when I was ten years old. There was this party store in Port Huron owned by a man by the name of George Smith. He went to high school with my grandpa. In place of my absent father, my grandpa was my father figure. I spent a lot of time with him when I was younger. On Saturday afternoons, he liked to go visit George at the party store. They'd hang out, watch whatever game was on TV, eat things like pickled eggs, and maybe have a beer or two. While I'd hang out, I would stock the walk-in cooler, and George would throw me ten bucks for the effort.

I have no idea if they ever knew what I was really doing, but it was a lot of fun sneaking around. What I would do is go and grab a copy of Penthouse from the magazine rack conveniently located in a spot where they wouldn't see me. Then I'd go into the cooler, stock everything, crack open a bottle of whatever, and check out the magazine. Right away I figured out that I didn't like the taste of beer. I wanted to, because according to all the commercials and ads, men are supposed to like beer, right? Whatever. I tried the fortified wines like Thunderbird and Richard's Wild Irish Rose...those were nasty. Then I tried a wine cooler. I really liked those. These days, I can't touch that shit, way too much sugar. But back then it would give me a good buzz. This went on for maybe a year or so.

Flash forward to 1994. I was 18, working in a small record store in Marysville, and I was at a serious loss as to what to do for fun. The last thing I wanted was to 'cruise' that infinite circle around downtown Port Huron on Friday and Saturday nights. My friend Buddy knew this guy Kevin who was just barely 21. We'd go over to his house, pick him up, and take him to the nearest liquor store. There he would get us whatever high-sugar alcohol we decided on. Buddy liked it more than I did, so he usually decided. It was usually some sort of schnapps like Buttershots or Hot Damn in the plastic 'traveler's' bottle. We'd hit that a bit, then head to Deja Vu. Hey, we were 18, what else were we supposed to do in this town that had absolutely nothing going on in it?

Then I turned 19, and things changed a little. I would spend about three nights a week (usually with Buddy and sometimes with my friend Lori) at strip clubs in Sarnia (Ontario). We got to a point where we were such regulars at Cheri Champagne's, that the bartenders knew what we drank. We would never get too drunk because it was so expensive. But a fourth night out of the week was spent at the dance clubs in Sarnia. Thursday was usually college night. Those were the nights to get really drunk on Long Island Iced Tea specials in pitchers, or other similar enticements. It sure as hell wasn't the crappy music that kept us going there.

A man whose name ecapes me right now was one of the guidance counselors at the junior high I went to. He also worked as a customs agent on the American side of the Blue Water Bridge. That was always fun, seeing him when wasted and coming back from the club. He would just look at us and shake his head. No questions were asked of citizenship or declarations, he would just wave us through. He recognized us, knew we were citizens, and that we were at the clubs.

By the time I was 21, I was barely going to Sarnia anymore. Cheri Champagne's closed, a tear was shed, and we moved on. I was of legal drinking age in this state for a mere eight months before I moved to Detroit.

(continued...)


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