Three Cans of Water Perverts Me

My head exploded today. My favorite black Swingline stapler was all covered in squishy green crap. The computer screen turned into a swirl of translucent red when I tried to wipe off the blood. The clients kept pushing, and I kept saying "how high?"

My eyes are bloodshot from dehydration, my hands are trembling from nonstop typing. The right side of my neck is sore from shouldering the phone all damned day. I keep running my hands through what little hair that I do have because I used a different shampoo today and it made the hair softer. The coffee was long forgotten. I'm not even sure if I ate today. Did I eat? There were some carrots earlier, I think. My abdomen feels distended from being empty all day. It's just an exercise to self-cannibalize.

I stare at this active matrix in front of me. It's so bright, but it doesn't hurt my eyes like that bastard CRT at work. Then there's that fucking brand-new office chair. All kinds of fancy levers and adjustments, but the seat itself is rock-hard! How is that supposed to help anything!?! God, my back hurts. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. What else can I do? My head exploded today.