12.08.2004

pRon

Is anyone really all that shocked? From This Is London.

'One in four buys broadband for porn'
Almost one in four people with broadband internet admit signing up in order to download pornography, according to a survey published today.
Faster access to adult entertainment was the second biggest reasons why users installed the technology in their home.
The top reason for getting broadband was to download music from the internet, according to the poll by telephone and internet company Homecall.
More than 5,000 people were questioned face-to-face in London, Manchester, Glasgow, Cardiff and Birmingham earlier this month about their reasons for getting broadband.
A third said it was to download music, 23% to download adult services, 12% for music videos, 9% to listen to online radio, 8% to download movie trailers and 5% to share information with family and friends.
"Broadband in the home has really taken off," a Homecall spokesperson said. "We have been able to keep in touch with family and friends via email on dial-up, but having high speed internet access in the privacy of our own home allows us to use the service for entertainment as well."
Broadband allows access to the internet at up to 10 times faster than existing dial-up connections.



11.29.2004

These Idle Hands are the Devil's Playground

10pm to 2am.




Three Cans of Water Perverts Me

My head exploded today. My favorite black Swingline stapler was all covered in squishy green crap. The computer screen turned into a swirl of translucent red when I tried to wipe off the blood. The clients kept pushing, and I kept saying "how high?"

My eyes are bloodshot from dehydration, my hands are trembling from nonstop typing. The right side of my neck is sore from shouldering the phone all damned day. I keep running my hands through what little hair that I do have because I used a different shampoo today and it made the hair softer. The coffee was long forgotten. I'm not even sure if I ate today. Did I eat? There were some carrots earlier, I think. My abdomen feels distended from being empty all day. It's just an exercise to self-cannibalize.

I stare at this active matrix in front of me. It's so bright, but it doesn't hurt my eyes like that bastard CRT at work. Then there's that fucking brand-new office chair. All kinds of fancy levers and adjustments, but the seat itself is rock-hard! How is that supposed to help anything!?! God, my back hurts. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. What else can I do? My head exploded today.


11.27.2004

11.22.2004

Chaos A.D.




11.17.2004

All Quiet On the Western Front

I ain't got shit to say today. Nothin', really. I've been obsessing over a few songs.

Remember Urge Overkill? I have their third record, "The Supersonic Storybook" from 1991. There were so many interesting things going on in music in the early '90s, especially '91. Sonic Youth referred to it as the year "punk broke." It broke in two ways, (a) it broke out of the underground and into the mainstream, and (b) because of the newfound popularity, the ideals fell apart. Suddenly, bands that you would've been lucky to hear on college radio were getting airplay on MTV, it was completely surreal. I remember being so pissed when I first saw the video for "Smells Like Teen Spirit." That wasn't meant for everyone else, it was for us. I've grown up about these things now, but back then, I was always trying to search deeper. Chicago's Urge Overkill were one of these 'deeper' bands. Their third record, "Supersonic Storybook" had a single on it, "The Candidate," which had a video on MTV. I loved it. It was somehow rockin' yet mellow at the same time. It's the voice, I guess, but I liked it a lot. I bought the album that year, but I barely listened to it. So, I pulled it out recently, and I've been listening to the same song over, and over, and over again. The rest of the album is good, really, I swear. "Bionic Revolution" is a weird freakout, "Blackie's Birthday" is poppy goofiness, "The Kids Are Insane" is kind of a statement about the Chicago indie scene and all the posturing, but it's all about "Emmaline" for me. In the early '70s, there were two bands called Hot Chocolate. One was American, they had a few hits, but nothin' worth mentioning. The other band was from the UK. I know you know their big hit, because it's "You Sexy Thing." I guarantee that you've heard it. Anyhoo, another one of their hits was "Emmaline." I've never heard the original version of the song as far as I know, but the UO version just blows me away. It's downright hott. I'm really impressed. This is a band that started out with seriously mediocre musicianship, and here's a song that is walkin' the line between falling apart and keepin' it together. They keep it together well. I should make it clear that "Emmaline" is a slow-burner, it's not a rockin' song, it's kinda bluesy, in fact. It's just...good.


11.16.2004

Music is Not a Loaf of Bread

Here's an interesting article from Wired magazine

By Xeni Jardin

Giving away an album online isn't the way most artists end up with gold records. But it worked out that way for Wilco.

After being dropped from Reprise Records in 2001 over creative conflicts surrounding Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, the Chicago-based band committed what some thought would be suicide -- they streamed it online for free.

The album's subsequent release on Nonesuch debuted higher on the charts than any of their prior releases. That success gave both band and label confidence to try new internet forays: the first-ever MPEG-4 webcast with Apple, as well as more free online offerings of live shows and an EP's worth of fresh tracks. The band's 2004 release, A Ghost Is Born, hit No. 8 on the Billboard charts -- their highest position to date.

By conventional industry logic, file sharing hurts the odds for commercial success. Wilco front man Jeff Tweedy disagrees. Wired News caught up with him during his current tour to find out just what makes Wilco so wired.

Wired News: What sparked the idea of offering your music online for free?

Jeff Tweedy: Being dropped from Reprise in 2001. They weren't going to put out Yankee Hotel Foxtrot the way we'd created it. They wanted changes; we weren't willing to do that, so they rushed a contract through their legal department to let us go. It was the fastest I'd ever seen a record company work. Once they let us go, we were free to do with the album what we chose.

We'd been noticing how much more important the internet had become -- once information is out there in the world now, anyone can get it. Since that was beginning to happen with the record anyway, we figured, OK, let's just stream it for free ourselves.

WN: Did you minimize the quality of the files you offered online, so that people would be encouraged to pay for a higher-quality "real thing" when you signed to a new record label?

Tweedy: We didn't go out of our way to make it sound low-res. MP3s are poorer quality anyway. That's part of why the record industry's argument against file sharing is so ridiculous -- nothing out there on P2P networks sounds as good as the original CD or vinyl record.

WN: Did the free online release make it hard for you to find a new label home?

Tweedy: That's why we ended up with Nonesuch. They weren't intimidated by the fact that hundreds of thousands had already downloaded it.

WN: What was your reaction when copies of A Ghost Is Born started showing up online this year, before the official release?

Tweedy: Something interesting happened. We were contacted by fans who were excited about the fact that they found it on P2P networks, but wanted to give something back in good faith. They wanted to send money to express solidarity with the fact that we'd embraced the downloading community. We couldn't take the money ourselves, so they asked if we could pick a charity instead -- we pointed them to Doctors Without Borders, and they ended up receiving about $15,000.

WN: What are your thoughts on the RIAA's ongoing lawsuits against individual file sharers?

Tweedy: We live in a connected world now. Some find that frightening. If people are downloading our music, they're listening to it. The internet is like radio for us.

WN: You don't agree with the argument that file sharing hurts musicians' ability to earn a living?

Tweedy: I don't believe every download is a lost sale.

WN: What if the efforts to stop unauthorized music file sharing are successful? How would that change culture?

Tweedy: If they succeed, it will damage the culture and industry they say they're trying to save.

What if there was a movement to shut down libraries because book publishers and authors were up in arms over the idea that people are reading books for free? It would send a message that books are only for the elite who can afford them.

Stop trying to treat music like it's a tennis shoe, something to be branded. If the music industry wants to save money, they should take a look at some of their six-figure executive expense accounts. All those lawsuits can't be cheap, either.

WN: How do you feel about efforts to control how music flows through the online world with digital rights management technologies?

Tweedy: A piece of art is not a loaf of bread. When someone steals a loaf of bread from the store, that's it. The loaf of bread is gone. When someone downloads a piece of music, it's just data until the listener puts that music back together with their own ears, their mind, their subjective experience. How they perceive your work changes your work.

Treating your audience like thieves is absurd. Anyone who chooses to listen to our music becomes a collaborator.

People who look at music as commerce don't understand that. They are talking about pieces of plastic they want to sell, packages of intellectual property.

I'm not interested in selling pieces of plastic.

WN: Your critics might say that it's easy for you to say that, given that you're already a commercial success.

Tweedy: I'm grateful that I've sold enough to have a house, take care of my kids and live decently. But that's a gift, not an entitlement.

I don't want potential fans to be blocked because the choice to check out our music becomes a financial decision for them.

WN: How do you feel about some of the new kinds of rights management alternatives some are proposing, instead of our current copyright schemes -- for instance, Creative Commons licenses that would allow your fans to remix your material for personal, noncommercial use?

Tweedy: Commercial use is one thing, but I have no problem with fans tinkering with it on their laptops, then sharing it with their friends -- that's just a new way for them to listen.

WN: Wilco is involved in a lot of non-music projects -- you published a book of poetry called Adult Head this year, the band was the subject of a 2002 documentary film, and the band just released a new book of photos, art, essays and previously unreleased tracks on an accompanying CD -- The Wilco Book. Is there a link between all the multimedia exploration and the relaxed attitude you seem to have about what happens to your music in the digital realm?

Tweedy: We're a collective of people who live to create things. When we released A Ghost Is Born, we decided to do that in an enhanced format for a number of reasons. We get to deliver more art that way. It's also a concession to the fact that we're artists who do work within the industry infrastructure. This offers something more than a downloaded MP3 can.

WN: What's next from Wilco in the way of online experiments?

Tweedy: Every few months or so we put a new live show on our site for download. And between YHF and AGIB, we released some tracks exclusively on our site for free. We've been encouraged by the response.

This has just become part of the way the band interacts with our audience. It's part of what we do now, and I don't think we're going to stop anytime soon.

Why can't more people see things this way? Because art and money have never been a good mix. It's more like a molotov coctail.


11.10.2004

More Shameless Self-Promotion

I realize that this is not a very well-done Photoshop. I was just messin' around, trying to learn more about how to use PS. The next one will be better, I promise. The premise here was that I thought the name "Strappleberry" (a flavor of Juicy Fruit gum) sounded like the name of a porn star who specializes in strap-ons.




It's Hot As a Bitch, I Shoulda Been Rich

Um, yeah, I can't wait until this guy starts complaining about how high his taxes are, or how expensive gas is. When he stops getting paid for overtime, and can't afford healthcare, I'm sure he'll be re-thinking "God's will." Taken from Allentown, PA's Morning Call online:

I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will. It is His doing that George W. Bush is still our president. Millions of born-again Christians helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Jesus speaks through the Republicans.The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.

Earl Balboa

Washington Township


11.06.2004

11.05.2004

Fear and Loathing in America, Land of the Not-So-Free

I know it's been a few days. No apology will be given. I've been in a state of creative catatonia since early Wednesday morning when I read that Kerry will be conceding and they won't be bothering with waiting for the provisional/absentee ballots to be counted. Depressing. But life goes on. I've been spending more time paying attention to what others have to say about all of this, because I just don't know how to react. I've been especially liking the coverage on Wonkette. The editor, Ana Marie Cox, and Jon Stewart (The Daily Show), and comedians like David Cross will certainly have enough material for the next four years. Enough material to keep us laughing when we stop getting paid for overtime, and enough to keep us laughing when we realize that the war on terrorism is as ridiculous as a war on time or life or kittens or anything else so broad and vague. I'll be laughing at their jokes when I can no longer afford to put gas in my car when it goes up to $10 per gallon (which of course, will happen after Bush invades the rest of the Middle East, and declares it his new kingdom). I'm sure I'll be laughing when the Bush daughters start embarrassing daddy on a much grander scale than in the past. In the meantime, here's something fun. Note how Barbara (on the right) seems to be particularly 'happy' to be there watching daddy speak after finding out that he won...


(Reuters)


11.02.2004

All Glory to the Hypno Toad!


VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!VOTE!










10.27.2004

Tonight on the Beeb

When I was younger, like maybe 12 or 13, I started noticing that a lot of my favorite bands had records out that were just called "Peel Sessions." At first, I didn't understand why they were called that, but I quickly figured out that these records were recorded live in the studio, which is actually the next best thing to live on stage. In some cases, it's actually better. Eventually, by cross-referencing different music reviews, interviews, and whatnot in SPIN magazine, Rolling Stone, Alternative Press, Option, and NME, I figured out that the "Peel Sessions" were recorded for John Peel, a DJ at the BBC. It took a little while to figure out that he was the patron saint of music on the fringe...and not just for Great Britain, bands from all over the world would send him their music because they knew that he really cared, and he would give them a chance. Through his radio shows on the BBC, he pushed so much music on the fringe whether it was Joy Division or the Undertones (whose single "Teenage Kicks" was his favorite single ever) or Goldie (drum & bass) or hip hop, he was there and on top of it. He was the Johnny Appleseed of all the music that exists just outside of the mainstream. He started in radio in the early 1960s on several American radio stations. He was born in Heswall, England (near Liverpool), but found his first radio jobs in America. He soon came back to the UK, and started in at the BBC on Radio 1. His influence on 'alternative' and 'college' rock was immeasurable. I've never even heard one of his radio shows live, yet I own several recordings from his shows including Joy Division, New Order, the White Stripes, Siouxsie & the Banshees, and the Dirtbombs. This past Monday night, while on holiday in Peru, the 65-year old Peel died of a heart attack. He will be missed.


Bastards of Young

Tonight, like every Wednesday night for the past month, I have forgone seeing a few rock 'n' roll shows I really wanted to see: the Whiskey Diaries with Dillinger 4 and the Briefs, Mike Watt, Against Me!, and the Blood Brothers. I really wanted to see these shows, but I made a sacrifice. Why? Because I love to DJ. I love to play music for people. I've been doing it for over 10 years. I've sacrificed seeing so many shows, house parties, and many other events that I wanted to be at so badly, but I had to DJ. Sometimes it's about the money, but so often it's really about the actual act itself. Tonight, I continue with my years and years of music accumulation...tonight, I DJ at the Painted Lady in Hamtramck at 2930 Jacob (almost at the corner of Jacob and Joseph Campau). I start at 10pm, end at 2am. I'll be showing some unusual films on the DVD player. This gig is exclusively punk/rock/roll and all the variants. Call the Painted Lady at 313 874 2991 after 4pm EST for more info. Or email me. Either/or.


$142,134,382,662

Ya know what that number is? As of 11:06 am EST, 10/27/04, that was the cost of the war in Iraq. Well, obviously, it's not a war, it's an illegal occupation, but I'm not a politician, I'm not gonna argue semantics. Anywho, there's this website from the National Priorities Project called "The Cost of War." The site calculates the cost of war up to the second. The numbers are going up continuously as we speak...right now. Do you know that right now, the occupation in Iraq costs each taxpayer $504? Oh, wait, now it's $505. I got sidetracked for a few minutes. The site is really interesting because it gives you the chance to see how that money could've been spent on more worthwhile things like education or public health. Check it out.


10.25.2004

Fear and Loathing In An Electoral Democracy

For various reasons, I am an absentee voter this year. I cannot make it to my registered voting precinct on the day of the election. So, they sent my ballot last week, I filled it out, and returned it. Yes, folks, I have already voted.

When looking over the ballot, I saw the usual list of candidates running for offices I didn't even know existed, as usual. The University of Michigan Board of Regents? What? Oh, that guy's a Democrat? Okay, I'll vote for him, sure, whatever. I don't go to UofM, and probably never will, so it doesn't matter, does it? There's a similar list of candidates for the Michigan State University Board of Regents and the Michigan Board of Education. Finally! I saw a name I recognized. My old neighbor, Scotty Bowman (no, not the former coach of the Red Wings) is running for the MI Board of Education on the Libertarian ticket. Interesting.

So, of course, the first list of candidates that you come to are the presidential candidates. I know you know of the Democrats and Republicans. You might know the Libertarians and the Green Party, but have you ever heard of the Natural Law Party? How 'bout the US Taxpayer's Party? They have candidates on the presidential ballot. Seeing as how I had the ballot at home, and I had time to look it over, I decided to look into these 'other' parties. I already knew who I was voting for, but I was still interested in what the others had to say. So, as a service to my readers, I'm gonna provide some info on these other parties that exist on the fringe of the bi-partisan world.

  • Libertarian Party: They refer to themselves as "The Party of Principle." Their basic platform is a commitment to America's "heritage of freedom," i.e. individual liberty and personal responsibility, a free-market economy of abundance and prosperity, and a foreign policy of non-intervention, peace, and free-trade.
  • The Green Party: The "Greens" as they call themselves believe in the "radical vision" of grassroots political and economic democracy, nonviolence, social justice, and ecological sustainability.
  • US Taxpayers Party: Apparently, this party was created in 1992, but are now called the Constitution Party. In 1999, they voted to change the party's name, but some state affiliates have retained the original name. Michigan is one of those states, this is why the ballots in Michigan say "US Taxpayers Party" instead of the Constitution Party. Their basic platform is to restore American jurisprudence to its Biblical foundations and to limit the federal government to its Constitutional boundaries.
  • Natural Law Party: The Natural Law Party was founded in April 1992 to “bring the light of science into politics.” Their platform is kind of complicated, but definitely interesting. I'd like to see things get to a point where they could actually have a real shot at the presidency.

As you can see, I've provided links for you to check out each party. I highly suggest that before you go out and vote next week, you go to each party's site and check out their platforms.

My personal opinion is that the Libertarians have some interesting things going on, but too many people are fixated on their aggressive opinions towards the right to bear arms and decriminalizing some currently felonious drugs, such as marijuana. I'm fine with the latter, but against the former. The Green Party are also interesting and have some very positive things to say, but they were hurt significantly when Ralph Nader ran on their ticket in the 2000 election. He was perceived as being too much of a whiner, and I think that reflected badly on the party. The US Taxpayers Party, aka the Constitution Party sound like a bunch of weird leftist religious zealots. That scares me. The Natural Law Party I'm especially interested in for their focus on science, but like the rest of these, it may be a long time before a third party is a strong and worthwhile contender for the American presidency.


10.24.2004

The Young Livers Rule the Bar Tonight

I want to be late for work tomorrow. I want to wake up feeling like I'm too drunk to drive. I want rock 'n' roll, and I want it now. I want drunken debauchery. I need a numb face. I want to feel like my brain is floating around in my skull. I crave the sweet bitterness of Jameson Irish whiskey. I want to wake up not knowing what I did last night.


Night Time, Anytime, It's Alright

Somedays, like today I really wonder what I'm doing. In the past, people would want to get all of their crazy stuff out of the way while they were still young, because inevitably, they'd be married with kids and therefore unable to do anything too crazy. Is that the case? I think I see it the opposite way. I'm 28 years old, and I have my whole life ahead of me yet. I have no intention of ever having children, and I don't see marriage as something that would tie me down.

As far as I'm concerned, all I got out of the way when I was young was alcoholism, recreational pot-smoking, and quixotical overblown idealistic infatuations with women who weren't into me. I've had some time to figure out who I am, what I wanna do, and how I'm gonna do it. Sort of. Okay, not really. I know who I am, I know many things I want to do, but I have no idea how I'm going to do it.

I believe in freewill, yet I somehow believe in karmic reaction. Make any sense? No, it doesn't. I don't ascribe to any particular brand of religion, I prefer my own personal amalgamation. I take a little of this, a little of that, throw in a few contradictions to make things interesting, and I'm all set. What does this mean? It means that while there are many things I want to do in my life...I also believe that some things are meant to happen. Some people are meant to be together, some people are meant to die young, some people are meant to never know what love is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about any pre-destination Christian b.s. here. I'm talking about a sublime order of things dictated by science, and natural law, not God's law. I don't mean to get all religious on all of you, but it's a necessary explanation.

I think that by freewill, what I choose will lead me to certain situations that were meant to happen. I guess you could say that I believe in an illusion of freewill that's actually guided by the natural order of things. This may be why I have very loose plans for my future. I may appear to be indecisive most of the time, but it's really because I'm just calculating. It's also because sometimes - okay, more often that not, I find myself in the company of certain people whom I know very well. I know what I want to do, and I know what they probably want to do, but we're in disagreement, so I leave a decision up to them. I'm flexible.

Maybe I'm too flexible in my life. Fuck that. Flexibility is good. Why can't everyone be more flexible, more loose? Everyone would enjoy themselves and each other and life so much more if they could just compromise more often. Take a day off work once in awhile, say fuck it and drive to Chicago on a Tuesday night, skip school, I don't know, just don't get caught up in your superficial obligations. One of the best things in life is caring for other people and them caring for you. Pay attention to those people, and leave everything else behind once in awhile. Compromise and find a balance. I'm so flexible because I just like hanging out with my friends and my beautiful girlfriend. I'm just happy being there, it doesn't really matter what we do. I think some people put too much emphasis on planning and decision making. Oh, wait, I'm one of those people. This is where I need to get a little more flexible. I can say fuck it, whatever, okay let's do that instead, but if you make a plan with me, you better try to at least stick to part of it, okay?

Speaking of plans, I wish I could have it all figured out. I wish I could say where I'll be in a year, and what I'll be doing. I wish I could know what I could do for the rest of my life that will make me happy. There's someone in my life whom I'm close to who thinks she has some of it figured out, and maybe she does, I don't know. She thinks she's all set. Plans are in motion, education is being dealt with, plane tickets are bought and maybe she's got it all taken care of, maybe it's what she's meant to do in life.

I guess I'm just more interested in seeing where situation takes me. I'm hoping the situation will be a job that takes me to Europe for an indefinite amount of time, but that's just one of the things I'd like to do. There's so much.

Who needs a drink?


10.22.2004

Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes

When I hear this record, I'm almost speechless. I don't now how to explain it...I don't now what to say.

On the soundtrack for the recent film "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind," Beck recorded a cover song. "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometimes" is the closer of the film, it's the final moments when we see Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet run off together, re-united. The song is originally from a British late '70s band, the Korgis. I've never heard of them, but I like this song. In trying to figure out what Beck album this song is on (not yet realizing it's only on this soundtrack), my first thought was that it would be on "Sea Change," because I had heard the record briefly when it came out, and the sound was similar. Well, I went through all the songs on the CD, and none of them were from the movie. But...it made me want to explore "Sea Change" a bit more. I think I listened to it at least three times a day every day last week, and several days this week, too.

Have you ever heard of Gram Parsons? He was originally in the International Submarine Band, then the Flying Burrito Brothers, then the Byrds, then he went solo, when he started doing a lot of duets with Emmylou Harris. He's known for being one of the originators of the country-rock sound. Bob Dylan's more country-sounding stuff is probably the most well known country-rock. I know you know a song from Gram Parsons. At least one, maybe two. He wrote "Wild Horses," and let the Rolling Stones release it on an album before he did. His version came out a few weeks later on a Flying Burrito Brothers record. You probably also know "Love Hurts." The original is from Roy Orbison, and Nazareth's cover is fairly well known, but Parsons recorded it, too, and it's with Emmylou Harris. I think his version is probably my favorite. It's almost painful, it's so sad.

Okay, I've gotten too far off track. I digress by nature. Sorry. So, what I was trying to say is that Beck's album "Sea Change" is a very, very country-rock record. I need to stress that I'm not saying alt-country. It's not like any Wilco record. And, much like a Gram Parsons record, it's warm and even a little consoling. It's obviously a breakup album, but somehow Beck manages to make you feel like everything's going to be okay. This is not the crazy experimentation found on "Odelay" or "Mellow Gold." There's no Vegas glitz like on "Midnight Vultures." This is a man stripping away all the tricks and baring his soul. His voice is so evocative and and and and I don't know, it's just such a damned good album.


Hello Amsterdam

So, last night, I couldn't sleep, and I really wanted to hear the album "San Francisco" from the American Music Club. I knew it was in a pile of CDs I've neglected for awhile. They're mostly my music-to-fall-asleep-by pile. Not that it's bad music. It's stuff like Sigur Ros and Pan Sonic and Jah Wobble and Godflesh. Ambient or light pop, mostly. While shuffling through the four or five one-foot stacks of CDs, I finally found the AMC album, but I found some more things, too. Some albums I forgot about.

Holy crap, if you like Stereolab, you absolutely need...no, wait, you abso-fucking-lutely have to check out the album "Happyness" from The Aluminum Group. I forgot how good it is.

I also re-discovered the album "Nilsson Schmilsson" from Harry Nilsson. This one is a little weird. Whether you know it or not, you've heard at least three songs from this album. I know you have. I have no doubts. First of all, you've heard "Without You," possibly unwillingly, but you've heard it because Air Supply, Badfinger, Mariah Carey, Shirley Bassey, Petula Clark, Ray Conniff, Percy Faith, Heart, Henry Mancini, Johnny Mathis, Wayne Newton, Donny Osmond, and Andy Williams have ALL recorded a version of the song. Up until Mariah Carey had a long-running number one single with it, Nilsson's version was the most well-known, but not the original. You also know the Nilsson song "Coconut." I know you know it: "you put the lime in the coconut..." and it was in the movie "Reservoir Dogs." You also know "Jump Into the Fire" and "Let the Good Times Roll." Both were big hits in the '70s.

Also re-discovered was "Motorlab 3" from Pan Sonic and Barry Adamson. Pan Sonic are known for their abstract minimalist electronic stuff. They're Finnish. Barry Adamson was once in the band Magazine (Howard Devoto's post-Buzzcocks band), Crime and the City Solution, and he currently still is in the Bad Seeds, as in Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. This album is basically one track, "The Hymn of the 7th Illusion," along with a Hafler Trio remix of the first track. There's a choir mixed with electronic ambience. Dark ambience. This shit is heavy. The remix isn't too bad, but the original version is better.

"You'd Prefer an Astronaut" from Hum has to be one of the best things to come out of bands-trying-to-sound-a-little-like the Smashing Pumpkins. Okay, so not quite. There are a lot more things going on here dynamically, and I can't be so simple in explaining the sound. I'm sure you've heard the song "Stars."

There was one other album that I found that doesn't fit into the music-to-fall-asleep-by category. I'm not even sure why it was buried in those piles. It's "Manic Compression" from Quicksand. I fucking love this band. If anyone out there has a good, clean-sounding copy of the Gorilla Biscuits stuff with Walter singing, let me know, I'd love to get a copy of that. Thanks.


10.20.2004

Scat-Obsessed Teddy Bears and Pixelated Robots

Obviously, most of you wouldn't be here if you didn't spend some amount of time online on a computer. It's likely that many of you spend most of your time online while at work. You might even know of a few good places to go to waste time online. A couple years ago, I started coming across web comics, and it seems that the whole thing has totally blown up. There are so many good ones out there, plus regular comics that are usually in newspapers that can also be found online. Tonight, I'm giving you a list of top-quality online comic strips. These are my favorites:

  • Derf City: Derf's comic is online only, but he does have some books available, such as the one detailing his celebrity schoolmate, Jeffrey Dahmer. Yes, that's real, he really went to school with Dahmer, and then made a mostly depressing graphic novel about it. Derf's strip has no running narrative or storyline. There only a few regular characters, but they don't appear very often. His schtick is his overblown and sadly realistic caricatures of the political right and the cultural bottom of society.
  • Ted Rall: Ted Rall is a noted cartoonist and columnist. His cartoons have appeared as regular features in Time and Fortune magazines, which is surprising considering his slightly alarmist liberal views. No regular characters, no running narrative. His columns are just as worth checking out as his comics. Very political, but not confusing. Very sharp wit.
  • Tom Tomorrow: This Modern World. Tom's comic is locally seen in Detroit's biggest alternative weekly, the Metro Times. It can also be seen on Working for Change. He does have some regular characters, but no running narrative. Very sarcastic and of course, very political.
  • R. Stevens: Diesel Sweeties. Billed as a "pixelated robot romance web comic," that's exactly what it delivers, along with some social commentary on cultural tribes. There's Indie Rock Pete, who's so hip he barely exists, Metal Steve who has a mullet, always wears a t-shirt with a skull on it, and insists on keeping his virginity, Maura the former porn star who is now retired and dating Clango the robot, Lil' Sis, Maura's little sister who has bisexual tendencies purely for the sake of trendiness, and Electron Mike, the required computer geek who doesn't know how to communicate with women. There are other characters who appear less often like the Red Robot who wants to destroy all "hu-mans," and Pale Suzie, the goth girl. It's almost like a little soap opera, but it's really fucking funny.
  • J. Jacques: Questionable Content. This one is fairly new to me, I found it while checking out the links on Diesel Sweeties. It may not look like much if you just look at the most recent post, but go back to the beginning, and read all of them, it's funny as hell.
  • Neil Swaab: Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles. Mr. Wiggles can be seen every week in Detroit's other local alternative weekly newspaper, Real Detroit. This comic is probably horribly, horribly vile and offensive to most people, but I love it. It's blasphemous, it's perverted, it's disgusting, and it's beautiful. Two main characters: Neil and his roommate/best friend Mr. Wiggles, who happens to be a teddy bear. A teddy bear who likes little boys and shitting on the couch. This seriously has to be seen, but be warned, it's very offensive and probably not safe for work.
  • David Rees: Get Your War On. So, this one does have some regular characters, but no running narrative, and the characters themselves don't really have any regular personality, they're just vehicles for the word balloons in the comic. Very smarmy, smart-ass political commentary. A lot of swearing. Good shit.

In fact, go back to the archives on all of these, it's totally worth it.


Malai Kofta's Revenge

...and now, a few words from Adbusters:

Was it when you first heard the polar ice caps were melting? Or when you read that mother's milk is now too toxic for newborns? Maybe it was when you first tasted the sweet, rich flesh of a homegrown tomato? Or when you finally figured out that even if half the people on the planet lived like us, we'd all be dead in 20 years?Those are the ahhh moments when you suddenly see the world anew and realize that there has to be -- we have to find -- another way to live.Buy Nothing Day is one step in that direction. We get together and take a stand against the chronic overconsumption that is the mother of all our ecological, psychological and political problems.On November 26th, we refuse to participate. We flip our routines and discover new angles. We get active in our communities. And some of us go out and create some mayhem.Here's a good place to get started: adbusters.org. See what other people around the world are doing this year. Discover a new way to meet other activists in your city. Visit the Action Pyramid and help make this BND the blast that's heard around the world.



10.17.2004

Coming Soon to a Site Near You...

Fear and loathing with external USB disk drives...the new Interpol record...Beck's country-folk...Detroit winters...and sleeping all day - a new hobby of mine.


10.12.2004

Hair On the Wrong Side of the Hand

I, for one would like to welcome our new ejaculatory overlords.




10.11.2004

Unbelievable

Genius. Pure fucking genius. Google has a new service that allows you to lookup definitions of words, Yellow Pages type listings, phone numbers, lookup zip codes, and I don't even know what else all using text-messaging from your cell phone. Check it out here.


Viceland

You have to read this, it's fucking hilarious. Get some education, people!


Time for Heroes

A friend of mine from a local Detroit band toured with his band in Great Britain last summer, and one of the bands they played with was the Libertines, who happen to be British. When I saw my friend, fresh off touring Europe all summer, he was telling me about some of the bands they played with and he said that the Libertines were a sloppy mess onstage, but really knew how to party. By that time, I had already been enticed by the Clash references on the little sticker on the packaging and bought their first album. I liked it a lot, so I was a little bummed out to hear that they weren't that great live. Flash forward a year. They have a new album out, it's self-titled, they're out on tour, they've replaced their junky-with-issues guitarist Peter, and they're storming the US with Radio 4. Out of curiosity, I went to the show. Lately, I haven't been making it to many shows out of general apathy towards live music. I feel like I've been let down by some of the bands I've seen in the past few months. This is the thing, the Libertines could almost be called the British Strokes. Except the Libs are rougher and faster and more glam. They look like they sound, and they don't act like rich kids, cuz they aren't. I guess you could say they're a more real manifestation of what the Strokes are. Plus, I've seen the Strokes, and I know they had a reputation for rough and tumble shows, but I have yet to see that side of the band. When I saw them at the State Theater in Detroit last November (for free, thankfully), I thought they were pathetic and boring. They just stood there, and played the songs EXACTLY the way they sound on the album. There was no point, it was a waste of $40 for the people who actually paid to see that steaming pile of shit onstage. So, back to the task at hand, the Libertines did what the Strokes are now too important to do: they entertained me. Shit, there were people who were actually dancing, and the Dirtbombs or the Hentchmen were nowhere in sight! That's right, a Detroit rock 'n' roll audience was actually seen dancing at a show! Part of my current disillusionment with live music is that too many bands seem bored while playing. Not last night. The Libertines actually played for over an hour, I think they played almost every song they've released, and the faster tunes were twice as fast as they are on the albums. When they came out for their encore, the two guitarists were shirtless, and as my friend said, "that's quite gratuitous of them." Of course the ladies loved it. They then proceeded to crash and burn through several more songs instead of playing just one more and leaving it at that. Oh, and my friend was right, they definitely know how to party. There was a fifth of Jameson Irish whiskey onstage all night, and an empty case of Stella Artois (a high alcohol content Belgian beer that's getting popular with European partying types) outside of their tourbus. Cheers.


A Time To Be So Small

So many interesting things going on today. Christopher Reeves, aka Superman is dead at 52. Go here for the full story on that.

The latest polls show that Kerry has a 3 point lead over Dubya. Maybe all of the "anyone but Bush" activism is finally paying off? Or maybe the two debates so far have proven what an idiot Bush really is. Finally.

This next issue is something close to me. Back in 1999,
Indy Media was created because the mainstream news outlets were failing to adequately cover the news during the World Trade Organization conference in Seattle. It's a network of collectively run media outlets for the creation of radical, passionate, and accurate tellings of the truth. Last Thursday, the FBI ordered the site's host, Rackspace to turn over one of the servers that hosts a large portion of the IndyMedia site. This server also happened to be the host for individual IndyMedia sites that span over 17 countries around the world. If you're not aware of the impact or reach of IndyMedia, they have nodes all over the globe. There isn't one for Detroit, but there is one for Michigan, and there's a site for Windsor as well. Apparently, a few months back, the FBI, acting on behalf of the Swiss government, requested that IndyMedia remove an article that discussed Swiss undercover police. I don't know whether or not they complied with the request, but I do know that the method of the request is the same method that was used last week. The request was executed through the Mutual Legal Assistance Treaty, which was established by the US to establish procedures for countries to assist each other in investigations such as international terrorism, kidnapping, and money laundering. Basically, it makes it easier for countries to stick their noses in other country's business. IndyMedia's host, Rackspace is not able to comment on why the server was seized. This is part of the MLAT. Go here for the full story. IndyMedia is the grassroots campaign that has organized and galvanized activists around the world to take action against a wide variety of issues including George W. Bush, Globalization, slave labor, child welfare, the elimination of overtime pay, the World Trade Organization, NAFTA, labor union issues, the International Monetary Fund, as well as hundreds of other issues and actions around the world that destroy us.


10.10.2004

Vertigo

(This is the info on the afterparty I mentioned in the previous post. Courtesy of Mike Trombly)

Official Vice Magazine Libertines/Radio 4 After Party,Sunday

After the show at the Magic Stick on Sunday night, be sure to be at the only ever official Vice magazine after party here in Detroit.

BOTH THE LIBERTINES AND RADIO 4 WILL BE DJ'ING!!!!!

Things will most likely kick off at 11:00pm or so and who knows how long it will go...

THIS EVENT IS NOT AT THE MAGIC STICK!!!

IT IS AT THE DETROIT EAGLE @ 1501 HOLDEN
THE EAGLE IS LOCATED OFF OF TRUMBULL BETWEEN I-94 AND GRAND BLVD. MAKE A LEFT ONTO HOLDEN OFF OF TRUMBULL...
THERE IS NOT A SIGN ON THE BUILDING BUT THE ADDRESS IS ABOVE THE DOOR - 1501 HOLDEN

THIS EVENT IS FREE, THERE ARE CHEAP DRINKS AND SECURED PARKING!

This night at the Eagle has been going on for a few weeks now and if you haven't been out yet then this is the perfect opportunity...

Along with The Libertines and Radio 4, we will have The Young Soul Rebels Crew (Dion & Dave) as well as the Tamion Crew (Sam & Mike) Spinning an eclectic mix...

There will be NYC Vice Press at this event so be sure to be there - it's free and ALL BEER IS $2.50...


Argh

Lots of Stoli + White Castle + a whole pack of Camel Lights + fancy Canadian whisky + getting stoned + loud rock 'n' roll for five straight hours + going to bed at 5am on a Sunday = crap, am I tired.

Okay, today's plan: go see the rockumentary "Dig!" at the DIA at 4pm or 7pm tonight, then go see the Libertines and Radio 4 at the Magic Stick (doors at 8pm), then go to the afterparty for that show at the Eagle. Both bands will be DJing, as well as resident DJ Mike Trombly.


10.09.2004

Word.




10.08.2004

Hell City, We're Coming Home

I had the strangest experience today. I woke up, and wanted to go to the mall. Only because I know I need some new clothes, and I wanted lots of choices. I go to malls about once a year - if that. Seriously. It's just not my thing, that's all. Not my kinda place, if ya know what I mean. Shopping malls help me understand why I don't want to live in the suburbs. Malls show me how much I love the city. Detroit may be Hell City, but it's my city, I love it, and I should be supporting it instead of a pit of conformity like a shopping mall.




Neu!

A new way to waste time at work! Read what's there so far, then submit appropriate rants/essays/whatever to me. I will post almost anything. You can send them to stranded76@yahoo.com. Thank you, have a good day.



10.06.2004

Viva la Revolución!

I know what you're thinking. Where's the rock? This is "rocknrollscientist.com," right? I know I've been a little lazy with the music lately, but my mind has been elsewhere. My friends opened a new bar, The Painted Lady, there's been all kinds of things going on in politics, and I've just been distracted in general. This week has been really light on the rock for me.

I've been listening to the new Faint album ("Wet From Birth" - Saddle Creek Records) lately. That's not really all that rock. It's more like what Duran Duran should've sounded like in 1986. Well, I wished Duran Duran would've sounded like that. Regardless, I like it, but it's not too rockin'.

I've also been listening to the most recent Kings of Convenience album ("Riot on an Empty Street" - Astralwerks Records). That is most definitely not rock. Their last album, "Quiet is the New Loud" was very folky with soft trumpet and drum accents. It was good, and very catchy yet still very downbeat. This new album is even more downbeat, but it's more folk. The first song, "Homesick" evokes Simon and Garfunkel right from the get-go. This is because unlike most KOC songs, both singers are singing in harmony at the bginning of the song. Very, very Simon and Garfunkel. The rest of the album isn't quite like that. There are light strings and gentle drums, and more trumpet just like the first album, but lyrically it's more upbeat. Leslie Feist from Broken Social Scene contributes backing vocals on a few tracks, too. Downbeat, but warm and comfortable. I like it.

I've also been listening to Blake Schwartzenbach a lot lately. This means I've been listening to Jawbreaker and Jets to Brazil. That man is a fucking genius when it comes to sharp wit. His words cut, but they don't go straight to the point. Kind of like Matt Skiba from Alkaline Trio. I guess these bands are all rock, but the influences of punk are there. I recommend "24 Hour Revenge Therapy" and "Dear You" (especially "Dear You") from Jawbreaker and "Orange Rhyming Dictionary" from Jets to Brazil. Over and out.



The Good, the Bad, and the Slimeballs

Ahhhh, yes, debate season is upon us. I thought it was especially interesting that in the post-debate roundup last night, two bloggers were interviewed. One liberal, and one conservative just to be fair. Wonkette and Power Line, respectively. Last January, when I started this site, I could not have imagined that Tom Brokaw would be on TV interviewing people who write about politics and culture online. Especially concerning something as important as Presidential/Vice Presidential debates. He was doing it for a good reason, though. The bloggers were already on their sites, posting fallacies before the debate was halfway over.

Just like the first Presidential debate, there was no clear winner here, but I think it's safe to say that John Edwards is at the very least much more of a gentleman than Tricky Dick Cheney (aforementioned slimeball) will ever be. Before his closing statement, Edwards thanked the Vice President and the debate moderator. Dick only thanked the moderator, and stopped abruptly after saying it. Like he was making a point of not thanking Edwards. Towards the beginning, Cheney attacked Edwards for his less-than-stellar attendance record in Congress. He said that he presides over Congress, and he's there every Tuesday when they're in session, but this (the debate) is the first time he's ever met Edwards. It seemed like a slick attack, but it's false. They've met three times before that, and Edwards' wife reminded Dick after the debate. His response? "Oh yeah." Check out ABC News for the full article on that mis-step.

Overall, no, I didn't see the whole thing, but it seemed like a wash anyway. For the first time in a long time, both Vice Presidential candidates are good speakers. They're both quick on their feet. Possibly quicker than their running mates. I just wonder if Edwards will hold the strings the same way Tricky Dick has for the past four years. Keep in mind that Edwards gained his fortune and senior partnership in his law firm by making a name for himself in the courtroom. He's a talker, it's what he does. His specialty in law is medical malpractice. Edwards won many large verdicts against obstetricians in North Carolina. One of the primary theories he invoked holds that cerebral palsy can be caused during delivery. Now critics are saying that theory was based on "junk science." So, this just shows that he's a good orator. He's one of those lawyers who can make a jury believe anything, even if there isn't much fact involved. As much as I believe that I would've voted for him if he was nominated to run for President, I still don't trust him.



10.05.2004

1976*

Starting this Wednesday coming up (10/06/04), rocknrollscientist, aka DJ Gutterball will be DJing at the Painted Lady, Hamtramck's newest bar, located at 2930 Jacob, where Lili's used to be. Pints of PBR for $1.50 all the time. This will be every Wednesday. punk/rock/roll.

These are the kind of bands I'm thinking of:

Against Me!, Blood Brothers, Minutemen, Magazine, Mott the Hoople, David Bowie, Brian Eno, Spacemen 3, ACDC, Swingin' Utters, The Fall, The Damned, Joy Division, Cocksparrer, The Undertones, Thin Lizzy, The Testors, Human Eye, Gang of Four, Stiff Little Fingers, Turbonegro, Bang! Bang!, Black Flag, the Misfits, Descendents, The Slits, Dillinger Four, Wire, Murder City Devils, Buzzcocks, Troggs, The Dickies, Drive Like Jehu, Elvis Costello, Gorilla Biscuits, World's Fastest Car, Epoxies, Exploding Hearts, The Spits, Mission of Burma, Killing Joke, Nazis From Mars, Paybacks, Motley Crue, Guns 'n' Roses, Ted Leo, The Bronx, Against Me!, Agnostic Front, Cro Mags, Bad Brains, Backyard Babies, Weirdos, Bad Religion, The Clash, The Briefs, FM Knives, The Hellacopters, Gluecifer, Joe Strummer, Velvet Underground, Motorhead, Euroboys, The Move, The Business, Dead Boys, Pere Ubu, Pagans, The Saints, Electric Eels, PiL, Residents, Rocket From the Crypt, Rocket From the Tombs, Rocket Science, The Hives, Slade, Eddie & The Hot Rods, Rose Tattoo, The Soft Boys, The Adverts, The Drags, The Candy Snatchers, The Dirtys, Kinks, Sultans, Star Spangles, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, Guitar Wolf, Alice Cooper, Dr. Feelgood


*the year I was born, and the year that punk broke

Heineken?!? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon.

It's days like today when I actually like my job. Last week, I covered for one of my bosses. If it was the one boss, it wouldn't be that bad, because he doesn't really do anything besides squint at Excel sheets on his computer. The other one has a ton of tedious bullshit to do everyday. That's the baws I covered for last week. I've covered for him many, many times in the past. I don't know why this week was any different. It actually wasn't that bad. I got some much needed overtime out of it, too. Anyhoo, today he stealthily gave me a case of PBR for helpin' him out. He had to do it secretly because this is a corporate office, regardless of the anti-professionalism that drips from this place. Either way, I'm pretty happy about it. Anyone want a beer?



10.04.2004

What You Don't Know

Have you ever noticed that little button over on the left, below the list of links and archive links? It says "SITE METER." Obviously, it's a counter for the site. This is the cool thing, I can go to the site meter website, and check out all kinds of information on you people. Don't worry, it's nothing that isn't normally available. One thing that I like is that I can see what search strings people are using to find my site. So, without further ado, I give you a bunch of searches that bring you to this site. I'm not listing all of them here, but I think the most common search is for the word 'tetrafluoroethane'. Odd.

  1. Jaime Easter + Pirhanas
  2. Joe Lampinen
  3. fucked + ass + girlgang + bang
  4. mock-jargon + party
  5. prostitutes + Sarnia + strip + club
  6. tetrafluoroethane + petroleum + hydrocarbon
  7. Japanese + punk rock
  8. temperature + Sofia
  9. Suicide Girls + Elara + free
  10. huffing + tetrafluoroethane
  11. Ghetto Recorders + Detroit, MI
  12. Greenhornes + CDs for sale
  13. Volt Records
  14. techno music + listen + danger danger + fire in the disco
  15. tetrafluorethane + Texas + dangerous drugs
  16. "I said shit goddamn, I'm a man"



I Drink the Wine

Hey, I just wanted to let all of you know that the Painted Lady in Hamtramck is now looking for bands for shows. If you're in a band, or know someone who is, here's where to send your demos (vinyl, cassettes, and CDs accepted...hell, you can send a wax cylinder if you want):

(both of these addresses are for demos only)

lex luthor
264 holbrook
detroit mi, 48208

or:

lex c/o the painted lady
2930 jacob
hamtramck mi, 48212

contact: dickivy@twmi.rr.com

(for those from out of state, just to let you know, hamtramck is a square mile city that resides inside the city limits of detroit and houses more bars and drunk rock n' roll types than you can shake a stick at.)


Hail, hail, rock 'n' roll


With Head on Hands, and Name in Blood


I was going to paraphrase and comment on this recent column from Arianna Huffington, but I think I'll just post the whole thing. It stands well on its own. The column can be found on her site.

Bush's Toxic Campaign Mix: God, Country And Perpetual Fear
September 29, 2004

Leave no sucker punch unthrown. That seems to be the scorched earth mantra of the GOP campaign as it heads into the final rounds. But if you're thinking these guys can't go any lower, guess again. George Bush doesn't just have his head buried in the sand — he's let his integrity sink below sea level, as well.
The latest dirty blows are a contemptible one-two combination with which Team Bush has portrayed John Kerry as both the enemy of God and, if not exactly the ally of al-Qaida, then at least the terrorists' candidate of choice. To hear them tell it, a vote for Kerry is a vote against God and Country. Talk about hitting way, way below the belt.
Let's start with God.
It was
revealed last week that the Republican Party has sent out an incendiary mass mailing warning that, if elected, "liberals" (and I'll give you one guess which presidential candidate that includes) will try to — I kid you not — ban the Bible.
The
full-color flyer features a picture of the Bible with the word "Banned" stamped across it, and a photo of a man, on bended knee, placing a wedding band on the hand of another man, accompanied by the word "Allowed."
Clearly, Bush and the GOP have taken their Bible-thumping ways to a whole new level: Now they're using the Good Book to try to bash in the skulls of their opponents.
This "God is on our side" attack is all the more outrageous because it's not coming from some shadowy 527 committee that Bush can publicly — albeit disingenuously — distance himself from but, rather, from deep in the heart of the Bush-run Republican National Committee. The president's team has undoubtedly "approved this message."
They've also used the official
Georgewbush.com campaign website to attack Kerry, a Catholic, as being "Wrong for Catholics", while an RNC website, KerryWrongForCatholics.com, slams him for not being loyal enough to the Pope. We've certainly come a long way since another JFK had to assure voters in 1960 that he wouldn't take orders from the Vatican.
The idea that Kerry and the Democrats are anti-Bible and that Bush has a hot line to The Man Upstairs is both offensive and patently absurd. One look at the latest statistics showing the rise in the number of Americans living in poverty proves that Republicans — who, contrary to their claims, do not hold a copyright on the Bible — have grotesquely perverted its core teachings.
As Rev. Jim Wallis, the editor of
Sojourners magazine, told me: "It's a bitter irony: these people accuse Democrats of wanting to ban the Bible, then proceed to utterly ignore the vast majority of its contents when it comes to questions of social justice, war and peace, and protecting the environment."
Perhaps the holy rollers in the Bush camp should crack open a Bible and see what it has to say about caring for the poor (Matthew 25:40), caring for the Earth (Genesis 2:15), and caring for human rights (Genesis 1:27). I've got a hunch Jesus wouldn't be too thrilled with Bush's first term.
And while they're acquainting themselves with the Book they purport to defend, the Bushies might also want to have a look at John 8:32 to see what it has to say about the moral imperative of telling the truth. Instead, they are doing everything in their power to convince nervous voters that a vote for John Kerry is a vote for another 9/11. It's the latest vile twist in the Bush-Cheney "all fear, all the time" campaign strategy, and the last desperate gasp of an administration utterly clueless about how to actually win the war on terror.
The fear-mongering has been relentless and revolting — bottoming out with a sewer-level attack ad
put together by a 527 largely financed by a pair of longtime Bush-backers. The TV spot shows pictures of Osama bin Laden, 9/11 hijacker Mohammed Atta, the Chechen school murderers, and the Madrid train bombings and asks: "These people want to kill us. Would you trust Kerry up against these fanatic killers?"
Somewhere — and I don't think it's heaven — Lee Atwater is smiling.
And lest you think this line of attack doesn't have the Karl Rove seal of approval, just look at the long line of Bush surrogates lining up to parrot the "al-Qaida wants Kerry to win" talking point — including Sen. Orrin Hatch, the increasingly embarrassing House Speaker Dennis Hastert, Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage, and the hatchet-man-in-chief, Dick Cheney. They've all been echoing Hatch's claim that terrorists "are going to throw everything they can between now and the election to try and elect Kerry."
What's next, a photo of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi sporting a Kerry-Edwards campaign button?
This "terrorists for Kerry" routine is as laughable as it is loathsome. Why in the world would the terrorists want to get rid of George Bush? He is their dream president, after all: a man who has alienated our allies, isolated us and united the Muslim world against us.
The president's preemptive invasion of Iraq has been such a boon to al-Qaida that the British ambassador to Italy called him the terrorist organization's "best recruiting sergeant." Even Bush's good buddy, Pakistani President Musharraf (a guy who can't afford to share W's delusions when it comes to matters of security), said last week that the war in Iraq has made the world "more dangerous" and "further complicated" the war on terror.
Of course, the spinmeisters in the Bush camp would rather you never hear any of this, which is why they've been so quick to smear as unpatriotic anyone painting a less than rosy picture of Iraq — going so far as to imply that Kerry, by merely questioning the president's policies, has given aid and comfort to our enemies.
What a load of gutless garbage. As Thomas Jefferson made clear, "Dissent is the highest form of patriotism." But Bush can't seem to grasp that this country is too strong to be endangered by the truth — and that, indeed, hiding the truth, the hallmark of his administration, is what is making us weaker and less secure.I know the president hates to read, but with the debates looming, maybe he should dust off his library card and brush up on his American history. And on the Bible.