Great, I've found yet another stupid website to distract myself from real work. Go here to check out Screenhead. It's just a bunch of funny and weird shit found online. Updated every twelve hours. Click below to see The Highlander re-enacted by bunnies.
Drew, creator of Toothpaste For Dinner is a fucking genius. You might remember something else he did a few years ago that circulated all over the interweb: Lego Porn.
Coming soon, a review of the new Supergrass album "Road to Rouen." Go here to sample the new album. Then, you can go here to see the new video. Impressive, and quite mature for a band that started so young.
Also coming soon, a review of the new stellastarr* album, which is evolutionary for this band as well. Check out the new video for "Sweet Troubled Soul" here. It's claymation. Then go here to check out their official site. Maybe next week I'll have some free stellastarr* stuff to give away. Read often and regularly to find out.
This comes from soon-to-be legendary local punk band Bang Bang:
TOMORROW (Thursday) is our last show.
we're having a party. please come.it won't be the same without you.
BANG BANG
HOLY FIRE
the BLOOD and the BEER
+ DJ Slothwell spinning records before, during and after.
AND a short set by some guys who have a mustache fetish.
(the rumor is that these mustache fetishists are actually Thunderbirds Are Now!)
ALVIN's (alvinsdetroit.com)
ALL AGES
doors at 8pm
six dollars
bring some extra loot as we have some very limited edition live dvd's, posters and new shirts.
and in case you didn't know: wear a helmet.
That part about the helmet is no joke. If you've never seen Bang Bang, now is the time, because it's your last chance. Probably the best punk band outta Detroit since Negative Approach.
I'm on a quest. I figure that if so many good bands come from Scandinavia, then it should follow that there would be some great Scandinavian radio stations. I'm thinking that the most progressive of these stations would be on the internet.
So far, I've found that there isn't shit for internet radio out of Finland or Denmark. If you open up their streams, all you'll hear is traditional music (kinda goofy) or pop hits from everywhere but Scandinavia. Norway has the same thing going on with even less choices than the other two. Sweden was my big hope.
I love Gluecifer, Turgonegro, and the Kings of Convenience (all from Norway), the Flaming Sideburns (Finland) fucking rock, Pan Sonic put me in a good weird mood (also Finland), but most of the Scandinavian love comes from Sweden. I'm thinking 'bout bands/acts like: The Hellacopters, Cato Salsa Experience, Hardcore Superstar, The Refused (are fucking dead), The (International) Noise Conspiracy, The Cardigans, The Diamond Dogs, The A Teens, Kent, Entombed, No Fun At All, The Hives, The Turpentines, The Nomads (wait, are they Norwegian?), Koop, not to mention all the weirdo electronic acts, and the traditional jazz. Those are the bands I was trying to find on the radio. Or at least I was hoping to find the kind of radio stations that they may be listening to and getting their kicks from.
For a long time, there was no luck. I searched on all kinds of different internet radio lists, and couldn't find anything decent. I found one that sounded cool, but it ended up just being bad American metal like Staind, and crap like that. Then, today, after searching on and off for about a month, I found P3 Rockster. Go to that link and check it out. I know, it's all in Swedish. First, try to read it out loud and talk like the Swedish Chef. Next, click on that button that looks like a 'play' button right in the middle of an orange rectangle, next to a photo of a bearded weirdo wearing headphones. It says "lysnna pa Rockster." That's it, that's the right one. It should play on just about any broadband connection. If you have dial-up, go tell your dad that it's worth it to pay that extra $45 a month for cable internet.
The playlist is really interesting. In the past three hours, I've heard (more or less in this order) these artists:
Turbonegro, Yngwie Malmsteen, Bad Religion, Laundrettes, Opeth, Kiss, Pusjkins, U2, Nocturnal Rites, Foo Fighters, Meshuggah, Crashdiet, Hoodoo Gurus, Helloween, Witchcraft, Loosegoats, Nine Inch Nails, Juliette Lewis and the Licks, Rammstein, Sex Pistols, System of a Down, Gluecifer, Electric 6 (covering Queen!), Scum, Ruts, Hardcore Superstar, The Distillers (from back when Casper was in the band), HIM (Finland, not Chicago), and Bruce Dickinson.
Yes, I could do without the Meshuggah and System of a Down, but overall, I'm pretty happy with it. Plus the little radio player window tells you what song is coming up next. If you're able to listen to internet radio on your computer, I suggest checking this out. While you're at it, also check out WOXY . That one's American, but it's really good for stuff that's a little more indie rock.
This is not punk rock. This is not rock n' roll. This is Against Me!
With the aggression and anthems you want from punk, the hooks you expect from rock, and the honesty of folk, Against Me!'s third album is a killer. Right out of the gate.
I first heard AM in 2003, right after their second album "As the Eternal Cowboy" came out. I was hanging out at the Magic Stick on a Tuesday night and whoever was DJing played "Pints of Guinness Make You Strong" from their first album "Reinventing Axl Rose." It blew me away. I instantly felt like I was hearing a young, American, and more punk version of the Pogues with none of the traditional Irish sounds. Does that make any sense? It was folky, but emotive, and very much like an Irish drinking song without being Irish. So, that year they were on tour with Anti-Flag. It was a Saturday night and I had to DJ at 9pm, but I knew that AM were playing in the Majestic Theater next door at 8pm, so I went over and checked it out. Then I bought the first album and the one that had just come out. Later I was DJing in the bowling alley, and I really wanted to play my new CDs. I put on "Pints of Guinness..." and these people who were bowling on the lanes right in front of me kind of started laughing and jokingly singing along.
Crap. As a courtesy, I try not to play an artist if they're hanging out at the bar. They don't want to hear their own songs when they're trying to relax and have a good time. Some get a little embarrassed, too. Okay, some are totally full of themselves, and like to be able to point it out to the chick they're hitting on. "This is my song, I'm the singer..." Whatever. Anyway, I've managed to play an artist's music by accident when they're hanging out so many times: John Speck from Hoarse & the Fags, Guided By Voices, Jason Falkner, The Business, Agnostic Front, The Dragons, The Kills, White Stripes, The Hentchmen, Brendan Benson, Jello Biafra, and those are just the ones I distinctly remember. I know I've done it a million times.
So, that night when Anti-Flag played in the Theater with Against Me!, I did it again. They were really cool about it, though. In fact, James Bowman, who plays either bass or guitar ended up sitting up on the ledge of the DJ booth most of the night going through my CDs and pulling out one after another. Then they tipped me $50 for playing songs for them! This brings up something about their character and a heavy theme in their latest album. The title track from the first album "Reinventing Axl Rose" was all about how they just want to play and they don't care if they're ever rockstars or make a million dollars, they said "we'd do it all because we have to, not because we know why." Simple. They probably made good money playing that tour with Anti-Flag and didn't mind tossing a fifty to me for making their night a little better by playing "American Girl" from Tom Petty. That is punk rock, my friend.
So, that first album was very political. Well articulated, and the songs were tight. Lots of emotion. Not emo, but emotive. Strong, forceful lyrics telling us how it's gonna be. More like how it's gotta be. The second album "As the Eternal Cowboy" was good, too, but it was obviously a bit more mature. More songs about relationships, more focus on creating a unique sound. I liked it, but I liked the first better.
A few weeks ago, the latest from Against Me! came out. "Searching For a Former Clarity" had me hooked with the first song "Miami." It's an analogy comparing some undefined evil to the reasons why they hate Miami. It's vague, but I like it.
The next song, "Mediocrity Gets You Pears" reminds me musically of something from the Buzzcocks or maybe even early Magazine.
"Justin" is one of those songs I mentioned above with the rock hooks, the punk anthems, and the folk honesty. Okay, forget that, the whole album's that way. Every single song.
"Unprotected Sex With Multiple Partners" not only rips off that big hit from Franz Ferdinand, but lyrically it's all about how much they loathe the music business and how the suits don't really care about the artists. I think it's an intentional ripoff to highlight what's big in music right now while ripping the industry at the same time.
After that is a requisite political song ("From Her Lips To God's Ears - The Energizer") all about Condoleeza Rice. This may be the strongest song on the record musically. Maybe I need to re-state that. Maybe it's just because I've listened to that song every day for the past four days while driving down the highway to and from work. All of the songs are the strongest.
Unlike the previous two albums, they didn't tack the slower acoustic songs onto the end, they actually sprinkled them throughout, and there isn't just one, there's a few. This is seriously strong shit. Lyrically, musically, politically, personally, it's big. Huge, in fact.
I loved the first album, and I liked the second a lot, but I think "Searching For a Former Clarity" is Against Me!'s best album yet. Fuck all those kids who whined about the last album lacking the politics of the first album. Fuck all those kids who claim Against Me! aren't punk anymore. Fuck all those kids, it's time to grow up with your favorite band.
Against Me! are playing with the Epoxies, the Soviettes, and Smoke or Fire on Thursday (9/29) at the Magic Stick. Doors are at 6pm, tickets $12. Don't complain, that's a lot of good bands for your money, kids. The Epoxies are a great new wave punk band in the vein of X Ray Spex but with keyboards, the Soviettes are similar but more punk, less synth. Don't know anything about Smoke or Fire. Check it out here: Magic Stick.
Slows BarBQ is Detroit's newest restaurant and everyone is talking about it. No, wait, EVERYone is talking about it. That's better.
Normally, I'm not one to trust the urban hipster elite. They can suck it for all I care. I have other reasons to believe the hype. Full disclosure: one of the owners, Phil Cooley, is an old classmate of mine, or rather my sister. His brother Ryan (who is helping out with the business side of things) graduated with me. Mike Lindow, one of the head chefs (assistant, I think) is a former co-worker of mine. I knew about the restaurant when Phil owned the space, and the idea for the restaurant was just an idea. The brothers are really good guys who want to take part in the current revitalization going on in the city. Mike is an amazing cook. For these reasons, I believed the hype and couldn't wait to check it out.
Last night, I did just that. The space isn't huge, but it's a decent size. The walls are either bare brick or wood slats that are just slightly uneven to give it a rustic touch. The bar is right in the middle and is in a narrow 'U' shape. I'm particular about things like interior design, it can make or break perceptions. I liked the shape of the bar and the wood on the back walls. The booths on the one side are all wooden, and while I'm sure some people would complain about that, they looked really good, and I was quite comfortable. Our server (yet another former classmate) told us that for now, the music was coming directly from Phil's iPod. There's nothing quite like eating soul food in a restaurant while drinking Japanese beer and listening to Kraftwerk.
So, onward. The beer list was extensive, mostly for the bottles. I saw a lot of names I recognized, and a lot more that I didn't. I always hope to find Stella Artois in a local bar, but no luck so far. Ryan told me last week that they hope to rotate the beer list regularly. Something that caught my eye: Rogue Chipotle Ale. I haven't tried it, but I heard it's really good, and not as spicy as you would think. I'm pretty sure I've never seen that served anywhere else locally. The wine list is also decent, featuring wines from several small international vineyards. Originally, I ordered the Hitachino Nest White Ale, a good light Japanese ale similar to a hefe-weizen, but then my friend pointed out that it was a 24 oz bottle and $22. I really didn't want that much beer so I changed to Xingu Black Beer, another good Japanese (or is it Chinese?) beer.
It took the three of us fifteen minutes to decide on what we wanted to eat. Paper, scissors, rock were thrown at one point in the decision-making process. In the end, Deanna went for something light: mac 'n' cheese as a side and a small caesar salad. Chris and I both got the same thing: the pulled pork entree with mac 'n' cheese and waffle fries. You actually have a choice of two sides, including mashed sweet potatoes, hoppin' jack, green string beans (very popular from what Mike the chef told me), black eyed peas, cole slaw, and baked beans. I'm sure I'm forgetting something. I had to get pulled pork. It is the true American barbecue: meat smoked over a period of 24 hours, and there is none more American than pork. There's also a beef brisket, short ribs, babyback ribs, and another big meat dish. Can't remember right now. Unfortunately, there was no takeout menu available so I'm just goin' off my memory right now. There are also sandwiches and some salads on the menu. One of the sandwiches is named The Special Purpose, and I think it's a reference to The Jerk. Catfish and salmon are also offered in entree and sandwich form.
All of the entrees are listed with a particular sauce, but those are just recommendations from the chef. When you order food, the server automatically brings out five squeeze bottles of sauce to your table: North Carolina hot sauce (similar to Red Hot, but hotter), a sweet & tangy sauce, a sweet mustard, a straight Slows BBQ sauce, and the Apple BBQ. According to Mike the chef, they're thinking about bottling and selling the Apple BBQ, and let me tell you, that's a damned good idea. I'd buy it. I couldn't get enough of it.
My pulled pork was perfectly complimented by it, and they give you a huge pile of the meat with the entree. The waffle fries came with a cheese sauce, but they weren't smothered in it, which was nice, it was just enough. The mac n' cheese was shells bigger than velveeta shells n' cheese, but not huge like the stuffed shells you can get at Italian restaurants. It was a little spicy and served right in the dish it was baked in.
The prices are good, too, and that scares me. Mike was telling me that there are a lot of people who have been coming in more than once a day to eat there. He said, "if you're looking to gain 100 pounds, this is the place to do it." Right, at these prices, portions, and quality, I'll never lose weight.
Check out Slows on the web at: Slows.
This afternoon was the fourth annual Tour de Troit bicycle tour of Detroit. A leisurely 35-mile guided (and police escorted) tour of the city set up by several local organizations ending in Roosevelt Park with food provided by local restaurants. I almost went this year. Rock n' roll, red wine, and Spanish cheese won the good fight last night. Crab cakes and eggs for brunch were much more necessary than a bike ride. I swear I'll go next year. Really, I promise.
...oh, and the Whiskey Diaries fucking rocked.
Coming soon, album reviews for Against Me!, OkGo, Detroit's hottest new restaurant Slow's BarBQ, T. Raumschmiere, Maximo Park, Stars, Supergrass, 13 & God, reminiscence of New Order's past (future?) glory, and me bitching more about work, inappropriate apostrophes, their/there, and affect/effect. Watch out. In the meantime, go see the Whiskey Diaries record release show tonight at Alvin's (9pm $7), come to the OkGo record release thingy at the Garden Bowl tomorrow (Saturday 9/24) from 8-10pm where you can get your hands on the new CD, go have some mac n' cheese at Slow's, and raise your glass because Timmy Van-El would've been 25 today if he were still here in our physical world.
Summer is dead, get out your hoodie.
When I was like, 12, I had the biggest crush on this woman...
I think I was 12 when this photo was taken. She's Gillian Gilbert, keyboardist from New Order, and wife of New Order drummer Steven Morris.
Cue the Beavis and Butthead style laughter. (I know this isn't new, but I just saw one up close today)
And on the flip side, it's smilin' Thomas Jefferson...
I believe that scordalia* was sent to us straight from heaven. Not that I believe in heaven, but I believe in garlic.
*(raw garlic paste, minced walnuts, vinegar, salt, white pepper beaten til it's fluffy)
I remember when I was probably 13, my dad (who lived on the other side of the country) sent a Tandy computer as a Christmas gift for my sister and I. Even back then I knew that Tandy was built by Radio Shack, and I already had a negative view of electronics made by them. I know that it's a good store for parts and some other things, but before they started carrying name brands, I was hesitant to accept that they made quality merchandise. So I was a little bitter. I know, I know, it was really expensive at the time, and it was a good gesture on my dad's part. Looking back on it, I'm surprised that he was capable of thinking to buy such an educational and worthwhile gift.
I don't remember much about that piece of crap computer besides how useless it was. My mom had just started taking classes in WordPerfect, so she was able to use it for that, but all I could do on it was play the DOS games like Snake (aka Worm). Eventually my mom bought a garage-built computer from a friend of the family. It was a step up, but not much better. The baud rates available in my town were abysmally slow, and you needed a faster modem for higher baud anyway.
We used Prodigy at first for access, which was okay, but still fairly useless. Then we got AOL, and I told my mom almost weekly that I didn't understand what it was for and why she was paying for the service.
With both of those computers, I remember the text on the screen and how simple it was. I remember that colors were simple, links were always all underlined, graphics were pixellated, everything was so slow-moving and looked like crap, and there was still some use for the DOS prompt. That use currently escapes me for some reason.
Flash forward fifteen years, and my first exposure to computers is a distant fading memory. Thank God. I hated those slothful things. It was always so obvious that the possibilities were there, but it was so irksome to deal with how long it was taking for them to get faster and more efficient.
When I started college in 1994, the community college I was going to still had rooms in the library with typewriters for people to use for their term papers or whatever. There was also a computer lab, but the only people who used it were the computer science students. By the time I graduated college (after taking a LOT of time off) in 2001, computers were everywhere. Every building on campus at Wayne had them, there were several labs available to all students in several different buildings. The Undergraduate Library had a section for students only and a section for the general public.
Now computers are everywhere in my life. I get up in the morning, go to the computer room in my house which currently has a Dell PC notebook (mine), a Mac G4 desktop, and an original green iMac. First thing I do is check my email, then I read the news, and if I have time, I make something or start something on Photoshop. I do this every morning. Then I get in my car to go to work and listen to CDs in a CD player that has an MP3 decoder in it, which in essence is a small computer. Then I get to work where I have to log onto two different computers and for the first few hours I need to constantly check four different email accounts between the two machines. After that I sit at my own and at all times I have Gmail, MySpace, a news website, Outlook, Windows Media Player, a web-based proof of delivery site created for my company, and at least two windows from my company's database application. At all times, all day long, I have all this going on with my computer at work.
Fifteen years ago, I may have known that it was possible, but I never thought I'd see it. I felt like I'd never get my own computer that was fast and had more than 256 MB of hard-disk space. Now the damned things are everywhere.
Do I sound like an old man complaining about 'those damned kids' yet? Maybe I am.
Okay, this is related but separate. As I noted down the page, my company was bought out last year. When this happened, the new parent company had been in the middle of creating a new web-based application for order entry. It's pretty, with blue and orange and silver and all kinds of helpful buttons and little question-mark icons that you can click for help. Just like anything else on the internet nowadays, you can take your mouse and point at something and click, and it will most likely do something, even if it's not what you want it to do. Also, just like most Windows-based apps, if a letter in a word is underlined, that means you can press 'ALT' plus that letter and access that button without clicking on it. Oh, will wonders ever cease?!? What kind of futuristic year 3000 world is this?
We take it for granted, that's what I'm trying to say. Most of us who use Windows or Office and the most recent versions of each will ever only understand or use maybe 20% of all the functions available.
This wonderful new company that I now work for has decided that it can't afford to make new software to accomodate all the competition they've been buying up. You know why they can't afford it? Because they made most of their money by sending out stuff on hard copy, but their big goal for the past year was to get 100% of our recipients online for electronic delivery via satellite. Now that so many of them are online, the higher profit margin hard copies are less and less, so there's less capital to reinvest into the company.
So what's the big new plan to accomodate all these new affiliates and their separate billing systems? Revert!
I got a preview of the data-entry application that the parent company has been using for years. I can honestly say that it is ri-goddamned-diculous. Black background, white chunky text, I felt like I was looking at a DOS screen. Oh, wait, I think I was. No, it runs on a UNIX platform, but still, it's ridiculous. This is what they are going to make us use.
I know, I'm whining about something stupid, but it's not me I'm concerned about. It's my underlings, many of whom barely knew how to use a computer when they came here. My minions will be hit the hardest because when they don't know what to do within a certain screen, they won't be able to click on a little question mark. No more cutting and pasting for big long lists of data. Hell, they won't be able to click anywhere! You know what they'll have to do? They'll have to ask me.
As it is, I already get assaulted on a semi-hourly basis by people who should know better by now. One girl has been here for two years, and she still asks me basic questions. I was in awe last week when I found out that her college degree is in network administration. Wouldn't that imply that one would know a little bit about computers, like share drives and things like that? She can't even map a network drive without being shown how! Note to self: don't ever, ever go to the University of Alabama for network administration. Good, got that out of the way.
The other twit is barely 20 years old and thinks she's 30. She's an extremely aggressive personality, always thinks she's right, blah, blah, blah. But, not an hour goes by without her apologizing to me for something whether it's being in my way when passing in the hall or for asking me yet another (stupid) question. So irritating. What is that all about? It just makes me think that her apologetic behavior is all a front so that I'll believe her when all this frothy bullshit spouts from her mouth every few minutes.
I don't hate my job, really, I don't. Is it so much to ask to have modern equipment and software, and semi-intelligent minions?
I was just outside smoking with my boss and an analogy emerged.
To understand, I must tell you that my company was bought out last year by a bigger company who were one of our vendors. I expected all kinds of annoying changes with the merger, but it went rather smoothly. It wasn't until recently that the bubbles started to rise to the surface.
The bureacratic bullshit is now flying everywhere. The shit has hit the proverbial fan, and it's getting messy. It seems that the parent company isn't fully able to deal with all of the issues that we're having, so they're reverting to old methods instead of following through on new ideas. Annoying. Very, very annoying, in fact.
They're making our jobs as complicated as they can while asking that we incur as little overtime as humanly possible. Of course, this new red tape could be easily dealt with if we were properly staffed, but clerically speaking, we are the most understaffed office in the company.
Today when I heard about the newest stupid new procedure, it reminded me of another bureaucratic problem that recently came to light.
After 9/11, the Bush administration formed the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) as a way to deal with threats to national security that exist within the country. Namely terrorists. The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) already existed (formed in 1979 by an executive order by President Jimmy Carter) and was quickly swallowed up by the DHS. According to their website, FEMA's mission is "to lead America to prepare for, prevent, respond to and recover from disasters with a vision of "A Nation Prepared."
So, while it somewhat makes sense for FEMA to be a part of the DHS, it seems to be counter-productive to me. Being a part of DHS means even more extensive red tape and bureaucracy than what FEMA was previously involved in.
All that extra red tape meant that when well-meaning people tried to deliver much-needed supplies to the Gulf Coast, they were turned away because they didn't have what the FEMA employees referred to as a 'tasker number'. I looked this up on Google, and failed to find any definitive information beyond it being a number that catalogs and identifies something governmental. It seems to be a term commonly used in the military.
When FEMA didn't have the necessary equipment and supplies in place before all the flooding, there were others willing to donate what was needed (including much-needed helicopters), and FEMA could not accept any of it until the proper paperwork was filled out and submitted. Can you believe that?
Honestly, I don't know what FEMA's response or strategy would've been previous to the merger with DHS. But I have a feeling that if the agency wasn't required to go through so much paperwork to get anything done, the response time would've been much faster. Also, having a director who has experience in disaster response instead of being just another big Bush campaign supporter probably would've helped. Shit, I think I have more common sense in how to deal with a disaster/emergency than Michael Brown. Maybe that's why he resigned today. Wanna know what post he held before he was named as the director of FEMA? "Before joining the Bush administration in 2001, Brown spent 11 years as the commissioner of judges and stewards for the International Arabian Horse Association, a breeders' and horse-show organization based in Colorado. " That comes from an article in the Boston Herald from September 3rd, and you can read it in it's entirety right here.
Did you read the article? Good, okay, now think about it...this nation is run by a man who actually felt it was appropriate to give Michael Brown the task of heading a federal emergency agency. The only emergency Michael Brown is capable of dealing with is cheating at a horse show. That's like asking a farmer to be the director of housing and urban development, as long as the farmer gives the president lots of money for his election campaign.
Obviously, I've digressed from my original argument. Suck it, I don't care.
"You don't post often enough"
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I've been busy with the self-education of J. Richards. It's a lengthy process. Currently, it involves Adobe CS.
I've been so busy that I almost lost sight of this week's anniversary: it was nine months ago today when Tim and Shwaac passed away.
I had gone to the Magic Stick on that Tuesday night (the seventh) to see the Eagles of Death Metal. Mike and I tried to talk Tim into going, but he was adamant about DJing at the Painted Lady that night. He felt a responsibility to try and get people in there any way that he could.
That morning, I ran down the stairs to go to work because I was late as usual. Tim and Shwaac were both passed out in the living room. White Castle boxes were all over the coffee table, the Ghostbusters DVD was playing on the TV. Wednesday morning, I didn't think anything of it when they weren't there passed out. Tim was good at disappearing for days at a time. Nothing seemed unusual.
Nine months. It sounds like such a long amount of time. Almost a year. Does it feel like a year? No, it feels like last month.
It's so difficult to deal with the images on the TV for the past two weeks. I'm so much more emotional since December.
Tim and Shwaac, you're missed.
This is really long. But it's worth reading. If you've ever had any interest in mythology, the bible and it's myths, and the movie Superman (or Smallville), check this out. It was written by my friend Tim who passed away nine months ago today. He wrote this and posted it on an online journal on September 25th of 2004, two days after his 24th birthday. I admit, some of it is too intellectual for some people, and it's not an easy read, but worthwhile. You can look up info on all of this online using Google. Note that I didn't change any of his spelling or formatting. Also, I think it's no accident that I happened to sit down to watch TV two nights ago, and Superman II was on. Tim was reminding me that I've been meaning to post this for all of you to read.
i've tried to tell you.
The term superman first entered into modern usage through the writings of Friedrich Nietzsche. This late nineteenth-century German philosopher was vehemently anti-Christian and never tired of condemning the faith as weak, absurd, even detrimental to human development. While Hitler admired him, and the Nazis are said to have made use of some of his ideas, Nietzsche did not actually share their racist and anti-Semitic views. (1) Thus it is not entirely incongruous that two young Jewish men from Cleveland, Ohio would have adopted the term for their own use. While many assume Superman is merely a work of science fiction, I do not believe this to be the case. I too grew up amid all the movies (the first film starring Christopher Reeve came out the year after I was born), cartoons, and TV shows, believing the Man of Steel to be nothing more than a slightly stale and out-dated comic book hero. However, after watching various episodes of Smallville, a very different interpretation of the American icon began to impress itself upon me.
As nonsensical or offensive as some people might think this to be, the tale of Superman represents an allegory of another well-known supernatural, extra-terrestrial being: Satan.
Before delving into some of the more specific correlations, and often glaring similarities, between these two legendary immortals, there is an important point which needs to be made regarding the nature of angels. Angels are extra-dimensional and other-worldly travellers who make infrequent appearances throughout the Bible and other related texts. They usually do not have wings, and they almost always appear just like men. The Seraphim and Cherubim are the only two celestial orders consistently described in the Bible which bear wings. While most angeaologies consider both orders to be angels, the highest orders in fact, neither the Old nor New Testaments refer to them as such. But this is really just a semantic argument that needn't be fully addressed here. Anyway, the English word angel is derived from the Greek angelos which simply means messenger, as does the Hebrew mal'ach, which is used in the Torah, the prophets, and other Hebrew writings. (2) These terms can be used to indicate human or divine beings. Many times the humans with whom angels communicate are not even aware of it until the supernatural visitors perform some act obviously beyond the capability of mere mortals. After closely examining all the Biblical references, I was forced to conclude that there is no overwhelming distinction between angels and what modern mythology refers to as aliens. Both are extra-terrestrial, and both seem to exhibit powers and/or technology beyond what might traditionally be considered human. Now, Satan, if standard Christian doctrine is correct, is a fallen angel, while Kal-El, or Superman, is a stranded, immigrant alien.
Objections may arise as angels are said to dwell in heaven while aliens inhabit the supposedly innumerable worlds located in the vast reaches of space. But again, the only difference between the concepts of heaven and space lie in the minds of people who refuse to acknowledge the simple facts. Both exist above and outside the earth, and both are impossible to visit for the majority of living human beings on this planet. Even now, after thirty-some years of manned space-flight, it still requires the pinnacle of human technology, and the availability of monumental resources, to even consider such undertakings. We haven't been to the moon in over thirty years according to official sources. Moreover, space remains extremely dangerous. It is a notoriously hostile environment; the slightest mistake or malfunction can bring about instantaneous death for even the most well-trained astronaut. So, heavenly realms and intergalactic space, not that different, right? Okay then, hopefully that matter is settled, and we can move on to Krypton.
As most of us know, Kal-El's homeworld, Krypton, was completely obliterated due to a nuclear reaction at its core, which resulted in the infant Kryptonian's emergency flight to earth. Now, some theorize that the asteroid belt in our solar system was created when a large, terrestrial planet located between Mars and Jupiter (often referred to as Astera/Astara) exploded some time in the past. (3) It's possible that this same cataclysm was also responsible for the destruction of the Red Planet's atmosphere and its civilization. Satan may also be connected with Mars and Astera, depending on one's interpretation of certain Old Testament books such as Ezekiel. Ezekiel states in chapter 28, verse 14 that the former anointed cherub, Satan, "walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire". It's not a very far stretch of the imagination to connect "the stones of fire" with planets. Please examine the following verses for more details:
Ezekiel 28:15-17 15 Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee. 16 By the multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence, and thou hast sinned: therefore I will cast thee as profane out of the mountain of God: and I will destroy thee, O covering cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire. 17 Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground (Hebrew 'eretz is also often translated as land or earth), I will lay thee before kings, that they may behold thee.
So Satan may have ruled a physical civilization spanning Mars, Astara, and perhaps several moons as well. But he rebelled against his God and King, and was cast to the earth along with a third of the Heavenly Host (See Revelation 12:4).
The aforementioned information thus allows us to have a much clearer understanding of the scenario presented in Smallville 1961. While I don't disagree with Chloe about the possibility of genetic memory being stored in the DNA, I don't accept that this was necessarily true in Clark's case. I believe it to be more likely that Jor-El and Kal-El are one person, not father and son. Here's how it works:
I. Jor-El is Satan. II. The father who exiled Jor-El/Satan to earth is actually the Father, as in Yahweh, the God of the Bible. III. Jor-El/Satan returns to space to continue the "War in Heaven" (See Revelation 12:7).. IV. In order to eventually assume the role of Anti-Christ, Satan devises a seemingly foolproof plan. Just as Yahweh/God limited himself in power when He assumed the form of Jesus/the Christ, Satan formulates a a similar device. He clones himself and denies this clone access to certain segments of his memory and powers. This way he will more easily deceive humans into believing that he is a righteous savior rather than evil incarnate. But he makes messages and recordings beforehand which will remind him of certain things at planned intervals. This will enable him to develop in the most ideal way in order to fit the role of the Christ more perfectly. V. Satan and his angels are defeated in the heavenly realms, Mars and Astera/Krypton is destroyed as a result. Satan transfers his consciousness/spirit from Jor-El to the infant clone, Kal-El and rockets off toward earth.
As additional support for this concept, let us explore the meanings of the principal character's names belonging to the Superman mythos:
Clark - Old English - Clergyman or learned man (4)
Kent - Welsh - Bright white, white or bright (5) Another interesting possible derivation of this name is from the Biblical Kenites (first mentioned in Genesis 15:19 as enemies of Israel), who may have been descended from Cain (for in Hebrew Cain is more accurately transliterated as Qayin, and Kenites as Qayini. Adding an "i" to the end of a name in Hebrew indicates the people or descendants of that personage. Israel/Israeli, Qayin/Qayini. See the pattern?) (6)
Kal-El - Can be translated as destruction or completion of God in Hebrew (or possibly 'all that is God/totality of God'). (7) El is the Hebrew word for God.*
Jor-El - J is actually pronounced Y (the letter Yod) in Hebrew. Possible translations are: Yare'-el - fear of God, Yarah-El - God teaches, taught of God, Yeru-El - God is a foundation, Yeri-El - founded of God; God will see. (8)
Krypton/Kryptonite - From the Greek words krypto - To hide; kryptos - hidden unseen, secret; krypte - hidden place (9)
Lex - Latin for law (Just in case 'Lex' is actually short for Alexander, Alexander is Greek for leader of men, alex (leader) ander (men).(10)
Luthor (Luther) - Teutonic- famous warrior/ famous in war
Old German - Warring ones
German - warrior/famous people?. Martin Luther was a Catholic monk and theologian turned Protestant reformer (1483-1546). (11)
*If one is inclined to doubt that Kal-El and Jor-El may actually be Hebrew names, allow me to you remind you that both Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the original creators of Superman, were Jewish. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it's highly unlikely they would give their characters Hebrew-sounding names by pure chance. (12)
There are just a few more items of interest which may possibly be connections between Kal-El and the Red Dragon/Satan. Since Superman derives his powers from the sun, that would make him a kind of 'sun god'. Satan has sometimes been compared with the sun gods of ancient mythology such as the Egyptian Ra, the Greek/Roman Apollo and the Persian Mithra. The 'infinity serpent' burned onto Clark's chest in the second season finale of Smallville is another fascinating correlation, as Satan is often recognized as being or controlling the serpent in the Garden of Eden (Genesis chapter 3), and one of his titles in Revelation (12:9) is that "that old serpent". Finally, it would be quite simple to draw a pentagram inside the five-pointed shield emblazoned on Superman's costume. Pentagrams are used in ceremonial magic and Satanism the world over. Not that such a detail is conclusive, but I just thought I'd include it for the sake of being thorough.
So what does all of this mean? The reader, of course, is free to draw his or her own conclusions But here's what I believe; Superman comics, movies, and TV shows (and everything else in between) are Satanic Propaganda. Superman is the Anti-Christ/Satan and Lex Luthor, representing Christianity, is desperately trying to defend the earth against him. As the story is told from Satan's perspective, Lex is falsely demonized and portrayed as an insane criminal. In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche from Thus Spake Zarathustra, "God is dead. I teach you the superman." This is the lie that the father of lies is eager for us all to swallow down between mouthfuls of French fries and jelly-filled breakfast pastries.
Endnotes:
1. See Friedrich Nietzsche's Biography.com
2. Information gathered by using the King James Bible (1611 Authorized Version) and The Strongest Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. James Strong, L.L.D., S.T.D. Fully Revised and Corrected by John R. Kohlenberger III and James A. Swanson. Grand Rapids Michigan. Zondervan. 2001
3. Click here for the standard line on the Asteroid Belt formation. Go here for more information on the possible link between Mars, Astara, and Satan, maybe even Venus?
4. Name definition for Clark (Any standard name/baby-name book should provide this information.)
5. Name meanings & Name origins (Any standard name/baby-name book should provide this information.)
6. See footnote 2. Most Biblical scholars don't make the connection between Cain and the Kenites. This is probably due to the long-held view that the Flood of Noah/The Great Deluge (as related in Genesis chapters 6-8) was worldwide and no one survived except Noah and his family. However, a gr owing number dispute that the Flood was regional rather than global (which is possible based on certain interpretations of the passages in Genesis), and therefore, Cain's progeny could have survived.
7. From the Strong's Concordance Hebrew Dictionary (contained within the same volume), Reference numbers 3605-3607, 3615-3617
8. From the Strong's Concordance Hebrew Dictionary (contained within the same volume), Reference numbers 3372, 3384, 3385, 3400. Incidentally, yerah is the Hebrew word for moon, ref. . 3391.
9. From the Strong's Concordance Greek Dictionary (contained within the same volume), Reference numbers 2926-2928
10. (Any competent Latin-English and Greek-English dictionaries can be used to find these definitions. Also standard name/baby-name book should provide this information.) Here's a couple of websites just in case you want them. For Alexander. For Lex & another for Lex. Just for fun, here's website containing excerpts of Plutarch's Alexander the Great (who was not a good guy) bio.
11. "Luthor/Luther" name meaning.
12. "Jews are the true comic book heroes", article from the Chicago Sun Times and here's a History of Superman article from Superman.com.ar in case your interested.
For a week now we've been hearing about how slow the Federal Emergency Management Agency was to respond to the devastation of the Gulf Coast. We've also been hearing about FEMA turning away hundreds of volunteers who have driven from all over the country with supplies or the good intentions of rescuing people.
Doesn't make any sense, does it?
I can slightly understand the latter problem. They're trying to maintain order, and outside help confuses things. But don't turn them away, let them help somehow. FEMA's National Respose Plan should include the possibility of unplanned civilian help.
As for the red-tape and the lenthy response time of FEMA, this is what it's all about: the National Response Plan, a 426-page text explaining how FEMA is supposed to respond to national disasters. Click that link, check it out. A ridiculous amount of information. I understand a need for it, but I would also think that it would provide for a quick turnaround time. If a wildfire breaks out in Southern California, and it's spreading several hundreds of miles a day, Los Angeles will not have two or three days to wait for FEMA to take care of business. If another terrorist incident occurs like 9/11, will a large city like NYC be able to wait three days for FEMA to get it together? It's kinda scary.
This is an interesting little post written by my friend LVDG:
I have a question: How has Bush not been impeached yet?This fucker, yes, FUCKER, couldn't be bothered to leave his vacation to address the nation on Tuesday while one of the worst national disasters in US history is occuring in New Orleans. And don't get me started on the depleted National Guard and Bush's structuring of priorities. It angers me that the people of this county put up with this shit. SERIOUSLY. WAKE UP MONKEYS.HATE.
To wit:Bush on Tuesday, August 30, 2005:
New Orleans on Tuesday, August 30, 2005:
Great editorial from the NY Times today:
Published: September 1, 2005
George W. Bush gave one of the worst speeches of his life yesterday, especially given the level of national distress and the need for words of consolation and wisdom. In what seems to be a ritual in this administration, the president appeared a day later than he was needed. He then read an address of a quality more appropriate for an Arbor Day celebration: a long laundry list of pounds of ice, generators and blankets delivered to the stricken Gulf Coast. He advised the public that anybody who wanted to help should send cash, grinned, and promised that everything would work out in the end.We will, of course, endure, and the city of New Orleans must come back. But looking at the pictures on television yesterday of a place abandoned to the forces of flood, fire and looting, it was hard not to wonder exactly how that is going to come to pass. Right now, hundreds of thousands of American refugees need our national concern and care. Thousands of people still need to be rescued from imminent peril. Public health threats must be controlled in New Orleans and throughout southern Mississippi. Drivers must be given confidence that gasoline will be available, and profiteering must be brought under control at a moment when television has been showing long lines at some pumps and spot prices approaching $4 a gallon have been reported.Sacrifices may be necessary to make sure that all these things happen in an orderly, efficient way. But this administration has never been one to counsel sacrifice. And nothing about the president's demeanor yesterday - which seemed casual to the point of carelessness - suggested that he understood the depth of the current crisis.While our attention must now be on the Gulf Coast's most immediate needs, the nation will soon ask why New Orleans's levees remained so inadequate. Publications from the local newspaper to National Geographic have fulminated about the bad state of flood protection in this beloved city, which is below sea level. Why were developers permitted to destroy wetlands and barrier islands that could have held back the hurricane's surge? Why was Congress, before it wandered off to vacation, engaged in slashing the budget for correcting some of the gaping holes in the area's flood protection?It would be some comfort to think that, as Mr. Bush cheerily announced, America "will be a stronger place" for enduring this crisis. Complacency will no longer suffice, especially if experts are right in warning that global warming may increase the intensity of future hurricanes. But since this administration won't acknowledge that global warming exists, the chances of leadership seem minimal.
